IT

"To have "It", the fortunate possessor must have a strange magnetism which attracts both sexes. He or she must be entirely unselfconscious and full of self confidence, indifferent to the effect he or she is producing, and uninfluenced by others. There must be physical attraction, but beauty is unnecessary.

Elinor Glyn

A couple of weeks ago Howard received a phone call from Miranda, Sir Gareth's sister. Yes! She has a title too. It's Lady Miranda, and she is a real Lady because some stupid ancient law means that she can cross her sheep across London bridge anytime she wants, or something like that? It's a stupid law anyway. I don't even think she has any sheep to bloody start with? Sorry, Im getting sidetracked. Back to the story. So Miranda, I mean Lady Miranda, wanted Howard to go and retrieve some box from the house and bring it back to London with him. The next morning, Howard came out of the house carrying a huge metal case, looking like he was going to have a heart attack! He shoved it into the boot of my car a little breathless.
"well, I can't take that whole thing back with me to London! It will kill me! It weighs a tonne! I looked down at the case. Scrawled on top in red chalk was "E GLYN." I knew instantly who the case and it's contents belonged too.

Elinor Glyn, maybe a lost name to many these days, but she made her mark in history and coined the phenomenon of "It" which seems to play a major part in 21st century culture. What do I mean, you ask? Well every time you turn on the TV these days and see a talent show and some judge goes,
"You just don't have it";
When you see the newest face of fashion that has "It"; and you read a magazine with the latest star of the screen with that "It" quality. If you think about it, X factor is just another way of describing "It!" So yes! Now, you all know what Elinor Glyn has contributed to society. Oh! So why does the house I'm staying in contain a case of Miss Glyns belongings? Well she only happens to be Gareth and Miranda's great grandmother!

Let me give you a quick history on the amazing life of Elinor Glyn.
OK, she was born in Jersey on the Channel Islands, in 1864 to Douglas and Elinor Sutherland. Her older sister was Lucy Duff Gordon, otherwise known as "Lucile" one of the most successful fashion designers of her day. Lucy was also one of the most famous passengers on that ship you might of heard of: The Titantic! You will be glad to know she was one of the survivors!
Elinor married Louis Clayton Glyn at the grand old age of 28 (which was pretty much ancient in those days!) popped out two daughters and started writing racy novels, (she was like the fifty shades of her day) to keep her in the living she was accustomed to, because her husband was a bit shit and not good with money. This also probably explains why she had lots of affairs which caused a lot of scandal, but helped inspire her more with her novels. Later in life she went to Hollywood to write for the movies and helped the careers of Valentino and Gloria Swanson, but her biggest star in Hollywood was Clara Bow who she chose as having "It" for her film and making her the first ever "It Girl" and probably the best one as well. Not like those shit ones we have these days called Lady stuff, toff, Palmer something or another, who are only famous because there mummy and daddy are really rich, not because they have an inch of talent, never mind "It"! Anyway Elinor mixed with the greats of her day and died happily in London in 1943. Da Da! The end.

Howard explained that Miranda, wanted the case taking back to London, because some writer had sort her out and wanted to write a book on Elinor and was after as much information as possible. Apparently there are 30 or more cases like this, full of her belongings gathering dust somewhere in some old universities vaults. There would have been more I am later told, but Elinors son was said not to like his mother very much, so destroyed a lot of her stuff. I'm not sure how true this is as she never had a son, so that puts a slight flaw in this story!
The case is sat on the costume truck, amongst are everyday workings, when Howard decides to empty its contents into something lighter to take it to London. Me and Lauren can't resist looking and before we know it, we are lost amongst letters, photos and postcards of the past, of which the case is full of. I become entranced with reading Elinor's letters, some to Grandmother which she draws pictures of how she styles her hair in the modern day fashions and how her mother hates it. Every fragile letter I read, I was quite aware I was holding a piece of history in my hand. I could of stay there forever reading those letters.

Elinor's presence is quite abundant in the house. There are pictures of her everywhere from oil paintings to photos. There is red sketch of her that hangs above my bed and looks down on me when I'm sleeping. The more I get to know of Elinor the more I like of her. She wasn't conventional and went against form. She lived life to the full. I look at her picture with her knowing eyes and think I would of liked to have known her. I think we might of got on? Besides she really liked cats as well, so we probably would have been like best friends?

ANYONE FOR A DIP?

It's a Sunday. It's my only day off work and amazingly, I'm not hungover. Today will be the day, I tell myself. Today will be the day I go and see something of Wales! You see all I've really seen is a costume truck; retail parks; pubs and Jamie's Italian! I was feeling the need to get into the countryside and I'd heard so much about Wales great beaches, I felt the need to go by the sea. I decide on the Gower, as it's meant to be the best.
I drag Lauren along too, as she has expressed an interest in seeing some nature and that's good enough for me. Kat decides to stay home as she tells me she is in hermit mode at the moment which makes her anti social (She should come out of it in a couple of weeks)?
The sun is shining as we leave and we know this was the right decision. Then half way through the drive, the sun disappears through the clouds, the temperature drops and it starts to spit with rain. No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is not meant to happen! This is my perfect day by the sea in Wales! Well maybe it will pass?

We arrive at three cliffs bay and stand on the beach facing the sea. The weather hasn't passed; it's still cloudy, windy and cold. The sea looks rough, but the bay is still beautiful. Sod it I think, I'm here and I want to do this no matter what the weather. I'm going for a swim! Luckily Lauren is just as game as me and before we know it, we are stripping down to our bikinis and running towards the waves, much to the shock of the passerbys walking on the beach. I hit the sea. It's bloody freezing! Mind over matter I tell myself. I'm reminded of my childhood when I would rush into the same cold Irish sea of Blackpool and Southport even though everyone would say it was too cold. After a bit I don't feel the cold anymore and it becomes quite pleasant, fun even. Me and Lauren are splashing around like children. I've swam in some of the most exotic, beautiful seas in the world, but this was up there with them all. Why? Because it was my country, my coastline, my cold old island and I was swimming in my sea. Refreshing wasn't the word.
I didn't wash the salt water from my hair that night, but let it form salty ringlets in my hair. I wanted to keep the sea with me. I had my day in Wales finally.

HAUNTED!

I have just finished two weeks of night shoots, most of which of consisted of overnight stays in the Brecons. While most of the crew were scattered around the area in cosy little hotels, our department got put up in the actually place we were filming, which was not a nice cosy hotel, but a big sprawling Victorian mansion, which also happened to be apparently haunted!

Now I'm not sure whether I believe in ghosts, but this place was spooky. Luckily I wasn't the most scared person there. My trainee, Lauren was absolutely petrified, which was made worse my people jumping out on her and making her scream. It also happened that she had the strangest room as well, which consisted of twin beds, a cot in the middle, the scariest family portrait over looking them and a sink in a wardrobe that looked liked it had been used by serial killers!
"I'm not sleeping in here" she said, "Carly can I sleep in with you?"
Well I could hardly refuse could I? So I did the honourable thing and let her. Besides if I'm truthful I was scared now too!
On are first night there Kat insisted on us scaring the assistant directors who were also staying there. So here I am lay on my stomach, under a bed, with two other girls, in the pitch black dark at 4.00am at 32 years of age waiting to jump out on some one. What the hell! We waited there for bloody 20 minutes, till they got back. Scared the crap out of them, so it was worth it?

My room became the party room and everyone gathered with their drinks. Andy our truck driver turned up unannounced on the doorstep saying he wanted a shower (I told you he was insane)! He settled in for the night with us, with a six pack of Orangeboom! We sat drinking and talking till the sun rose and we couldn't keep are eyes open anymore. In fact I had one of the best nights sleep ever. So no ghosts you ask? No, apart from an mysterious wet glass mark that kept reappearing in the in the same place, but no one had put anything there. The next day the lady of the house showed us a portrait of the suspected ghost, and as I looked closely I saw something. He was holding a glass!

CARDIFF: AN UPDATE!

Still in Cardiff; just! Had a bit of altercation with the director over an actors under wear, which when you put it like that seems rather stupid, but to be fair the whole industry I work in, is rather stupid too. Anyway at the time the underwear altercation seemed all quite terrible and I threatened to resign, until Howard calmed me down, and the rest of my department blackmailed me with the fact they would resign too, if I left, and I don't want to add to unemployment in this country. Besides I'm well over the half way point on this job, and I will see it through to the God dam end even if it kills me? I've got the biggest itchy feet at the moment. All I want to do is grab my backpack and go on an adventure. I have to keep telling myself that by the time I finish this job, I will have enough money saved to go travelling for a long time. I'm already planning routes!

So what have I been up to you ask? Well apart from work, there is not a lot to do in Cardiff apart from getting wet, cold or drunk, but I have found things to do, even if they are well, a bit sad to normal people. Hey! It passes the time OK!

We go to Jamie's Italian ALOT! It's become a bit of addiction. It's usually me and Kat (as we have turned into a couple), but we have now started getting the rest of the crew, even our new leading lady involved too. This maybe due to the fact, that if we try and get everyone else so addicted, we don't feel as bad? We are quite bad though, due to the fact the highlight to one of our weeks, was thay we found out that Jamie's had a new menu! Me and Kat headed down there at our first opportunity to try it out! I feel we may have to go to rehab to sort out this addiction!

OK! I have to admit it! Something terrible has happened. Something that I never thought would happen! I brought a ONESIE!!!!!!!!!!!! Look I had my reasons! I'm living in a big old house and I get cold! I also have no love life what's so ever, and I'm living with Kat and Sir Gareth, so me needing any sex appeal has gone right out the window. Basically it's all gone down hill for me, but that's OK because the onesie is not only warm but comfortable! In fact, I love my Onesie and now couldn't be without it! I have now taken to doing catalogue poses by the log fire, and holding a vino. Oh! And just so you know I'm quite good at building the old log fire now as well. Eat your heart out Ray mears! No actually can we make that Bear Grylls as he's much hotter!

As mentioned Sir Gareth is still around. He pops in a couple of nights a week in between his jaunts from London, Nottingham and funnily enough Warrington, which he thinks is "Ghastly"! I told him I was from there. He tried to revert. I told him it's too late, he's already dug his own grave! I like having Gareth around. I find him funny. He tells crazy stories; asks us if we are watching anything on the TV, which we are, but puts News night on anyway; and shows me stains on the carpet, which he thinks are new and asks me do I know anything about them, which I find odd as the carpet is already thread bare with a million holes in it and looks like it hasn't been changed in centuries! I have become so relaxed around Sir Gareth, that the other week I didn't realise I was parading around the house in a T-shirt that said "Best blow in Town" that my friend Debs gave to me from the show Benidorm, that one of the actors wore. I now use it as nightwear. First Tesco rotisserie Chicken and now rude T-shirts! This is no way to behave in front of a lord!

It's actually quite lonely my job. I spend a huge amount of time on my own on the truck while everyone else is on set. Most of the time my only company is Andy my truck driver. Through this Andy has become a good friend and I totally adore him. He is also completely insane, but in the funniest way. Me and the girls agree, that we have never met anyone quite like him. He is a prime candidate for a fly on the wall documentary. It's a bit like looking after a child, being with Andy, though to be fair he does his fair share of looking after me. He also likes to do jobs within the department, so I keep him busy with sewing, cleaning shoes and washing the windows. He calls me Miss whip lash! I tell him to shut up and get on with it or else! In exchange for his service, I have to give Andy advice on life, mostly about women, which doesn't seem to be going too well as he has just left his wife of 17 years and mother of his two children! He also had the date he left her, tattooed on his forearm below the tattoo of the day they married! I said that it was a little bit drastic, what if he got back with her? He says he isn't, it far too expensive to get the tattoo removed!

And finally me and Kat have come up with our bands name, well that is if we ever decide to form a band? I want to be the lead singer and she wants to be a cool drummer like Meg White! Anyway, the band will be called: Nonna and the Mitchell's!
Why, you ask. Well, Kats Nonna, which is Italian for grandmother (Kat is half Italian), has got herself three new cats, but seems to have decided to call three of them Mitchell which might get a little bit confusing. Though I doubt it will now, as the Mitchell's are all probably dead, due to the fact Nonna went to Italy for two weeks and locked them in the house, and just left them food and water out in bowls! Either there dead or she is going to have one big shit stained carpet! I have asked Kat to ask to get an update on the Mitchells but she said she is to scared of the outcome!

A WEEKEND OF SOLITUDE

I've been feeling rather unsettled in Wales. To counteract this I have been using all my spare time up with travelling up and down the country with weddings; hen do's; parties; a trip to the family; and visiting friends in London. This has left me living out of a bag again and sleeping on people's sofa's. I felt like a traveling gypsy; a nomad; with no real home.

The other week everything caught up with me. I hit a wall. I was mentally and psychically worn out. It had to stop. I guess I'd got myself in such a stress about leaving the Wick and London. I had it in my head, that if I didn't keep going back everyone would forget about me and I'd turn into some distant memory. I realised I've never given Wales or myself a chance. I decided it was about time I spent some time in the mansion and in Wales. As for my friends, if they are my true friends, it doesn't matter where I am, they will always be there.

So this weekend I hid myself away from the world in the mansion. People asked if I was going to be alright on my own in that big house. The truth was I was kind of looking forward to some time on my own. It also happened that during this time the sun came out and it finally felt like summer. My itchy feet that have been plauging my thoughts the last couple of weeks disappeared. All of a sudden Wales didn't seem bad at all, in fact it was bloody beautiful. I then realised I had totally unappreciated my surroundings. I was in this amazing old house in the middle of the countryside, with great views, a tree house, log fire, living in with a lord and I had cows in the front field! Really what more could a person ask for?

This weekend I read, wrote, sun bathe and went jogging (I know I went jogging! I actually quite liked it)! I spoke to no one or saw no one apart from the cows, who I would sit with watching the sunset with a glass of wine, talking to them (there amazing listeners)! I have started to give the cows names, such as Hamburger, Daisy and el Toro as I like naming things.
So I sat there on a Friday evening slipping a glass of wine, watching the sun go down surrounded by cows, as I chatted away to them, and for the first time I felt content and very happy to be in Wales. Let's hope it's the start of a beautiful thing?

THE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY

So I'm still here living in Wales! In fact I've still got another 202 days of living here! Not like I'm counting down the days or anything (202! OMG! What kind of living Hell is this)! As I said not counting down the days? Look, I'm really trying to like Wales, really I am. It's just proving very hard. The reasons for this are:

1. It rains all the time! And when I say rains, I mean it. I have never seen anything like it. It doesn't stop from the moment you get up, till the moment you go to bed. My feet are constantly wet and my hair turns into some 80's perm, to which people start saying I look like Stevie Nicks (being compared to some drugged up Fleetwood Mac singer, does not make me happy)! You might think I'm being a little unfair on Wales as it seems Britain and a lot of Europe have been suffering under the same cloud with the heaviest rainfall since records began, but I'm sorry people, I have been stuck in Wales whilst this has all been happening so I'm afraid this is what the place is now associated with, for me: RAIN!

2. The Welsh are the worst drivers in the world! No honestly they are! Yes, readers, I have braved rush hour in Mumbai, took my chances on numerous Tuk Tuks across Thailand, rode a chicken bus in Latin America and nearly got crushed by the motor bikes of Ho Chi Min city, but none of this comes near to the sheer bad driving of the Welsh. So what makes them so bad, you ask? They might be lovely friendly, laid back people, but as soon as you get them into a car, their alter ego, the Car Demon comes out, which makes them aggressive, psychopaths who drive right up your ass or try and push you off the road. The Car demon is not just restricted to unruly teenagers, but to all ages and types including the mother with her children and sweet old Grandad types! So if you decide to drive in Wales, be it on your own heads people. You have been warned.

3. The style or lack of it in this case! OK I don't expect everyone to look the same in life, but really I just don't get it when people feel the need to look like the love child of a human that has mated with an orange! Honestly I have never seen so much fake tan (actually Liverpool maybe)? And it's not just the women, the men are just as orange and a lot of them seem to wax their chests, which they show off in low cut V neck T-shirts; and pluck their eyebrows. Look! I'm all up for men looking after themselves , but I like a man to be a man and not take longer in the bathroom than me! It also seems to be the rage to show as much flesh as possible. This starts from a young age as most 12 year olds seem to be walking round in hot pants so short it puts my slag hot pants to shame. I think the influence comes from the adults though as when there is the slightest bit of sun, the Welsh seem to think its the Costa Del Sol and strip off to vests, shorts and flip flops, even though it's still bloody freezing and I'm walking around in a coat and boots. I guess it is hot for Wales though, so I'll give them that one.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't really like it here, if you hadn't got that already. There is one saving grace though. My costume team or as I like to call them "My dysfunctional family!"
I've always been drawn to mad people, and since I left my childhood home, I have found myself little surrogate families all over the place. After leaving my family in the Wick, my costume team had become my new family now.
At the head of the family is Howard, who we also affectionately call "Daddy H". I have worked for H on and off for 7 years during which he has never shouted, or lost it with me once, even though there are times I know I deserve a good shouting at. He says me and Kat are like daughters to him. He listens to our problems, puts up with mood swings and has to deal with the odd cry now and again. He likes our outrageous behaviour and loves to ask "What have you little feigns been up to now?" to which we supply him with stories of a wild weekend. H likes to listen to classic FM, never crosses the road without the green man, and it is the worst person with modern technology I have seen (I've tried to make him get an i phone but he says he doesn't believe in them as they stop people talking properly)! H is an imposing guy, being tall, always dressed in black and with hair like Aslam's mane, but he is actually one of the nicest people you will ever meet.

Kat is, if I think about it, probably the closest person in my life right now. We work together, live together, in fact, particularly do everything together. It's a bloody good job we get on so well. Kat looks as if she is straight out of some 1950's high school with her style ( I love the way she dresses), she likes to read retro Mills and Boom books; loves all things vintage; has one of the best sense of humours ever ( she has me in stitches all the time); her perfect man is James Spader during his 80's hey day and she loves really bad knit wear (which she seems to make look really good)! We are quite similar in ways, as we are both as silly as each other and have the same naughty, wild streak. Kat has become like my baby sister and I'm extremely protective over her as she is quite fragile in some ways, though she is protective with me if I think about it. She has become my rock in Wales and I couldn't do this job without her.

We have two new additions to the family, Gemma and Lauren. Gemma is a local to Cardiff and probably the quietest of the group. Thats not to say she is without her quirks. Gem nibbles cereal from the bowl without milk, loves chocolate (she has her own constant supply hidden in draw); worries a lot; likes a certain kind of poly pocket; and loves T K Maxx. She also never says anything bad about anyone. In fact I wish I could be more like that!
Lauren is our trainee. I met Lauren briefly on a film last year as she was doing work experience. I thought she was sweet and hard working. It also turns out she is great fun too. Lauren is probably the most chilled person ever, nothing seems to trouble her. I'd love to be in her head. Lauren has also gained the name "Sugar Tits" due to the fact that everyone in the department has a mug with their initial on it. As Lauren was a late comer the only mug I could find had "Sugar Tits" written on it, and I jokingly tell her all the time that it's OK to call her that, as she is the trainee. In fact I think she has got off pretty easy as I was called "Young Twat" for over a year when I was the trainee.

Now your truck driver doesn't usually get classed as part of your team; sometimes you don't even know who they are, but it's different on this job. We have Andy! Andy is probably the nicest, partly insane, funniest people ever. He speaks in a board Somerset accent, has a lot of tattoo's and is ex army (he likes to say he's the best trained killer who can sew)! Andy likes to play stealth with us on the truck. This is where he sneaks up behind us in an army fashion without us realising. He gets great amusement out of it and we get scared senseless! Andy is also my favourite truck driver ever, as he gets us gifts such as chocolate (usually stolen from the caterers!); Somerset cider (which I wasn't sure about at first as it came in a bottle that looked like it contained bleach and had "Contains Sulphites" written on the side, but it actually turned out to be very good) and writes strange post-it notes, like "Andy woz ere", which he hides around the truck (usually under the photocopier lid)! I like having him around as I'm on my own on the truck most of the day and he tries to constantly amuse me, especially when he can tell when I'm fed up by telling me inappropriate stories about Shanghai massage parlours or the best strip bar ever in Canada from his army days. I also give him some counselling when he has fallen out with Martine, his wife and childhood sweet heart, again. One minute she's a bitch and he's going to divorce her, then the next she is the love of his life and soul mate. It's kind of like looking after a small child, but one with tattoo's, who smokes and drinks cider!

We also have Fraser on this job, but he is based in London, so most of our relationship is conducted down the phone. He pops in every now and again, like a long distant relative; tells us stories of the Mecca that is London; says he doesn't feel part of this; I tell him to shut up; and then he merrily goes back on his way to the chosen land, at which point I usually want to go back in that car with him.

I have also an important announcement to make. There has been an addition to the mansion. We have a new house mate! Yes readers I am proud to announce I am living with a lord! No word of a lie, a real lord; he's called sir and everything like that! Sir Gareth, owner of the mansion has turned up as he has got a job in Wales and will now be staying with us 3 days a week (it's about time I lived with a lord, being a lady)! Sir Gareth is a proper blue blood, posh, British eccentric and delightfully entertaining. He tells us the craziest of stories, which have so far included a dead labrador in a suitcase (This story is worth a post on its own); his gap year in America which was apparently " A bloody waste of time. Didn't learn a bloody thing!" and about gate crashing a Gwyneth Paltrow play! In return for this we have made Sir Gareth, fajita's and introduced him to Tesco's rotisserie chicken ( How many people can say they have introduced a lord to rotisserie chicken, hey)? One to tell the gran kids.

So it's seems I have myself a new dysfunctional family, surrounded by crazy people again, the way I like it. Oh! what of me? You ask. Well I'm the perfectly sane one out us all. Aren't I?

THE LADY FINDS A MANOR

It's finally happened! I have the house befitting a lady; lady Warrington that is. Let me introduce to my new manor; the manor I now reside in, in Wales.

You see! It's bloody massive. Well it is for a girl like me who spent her childhood growing up in a semi detach in Warrington, that didn't really have enough room for us all. I spent most of my childhood, sharing a room with a bunk bed with my sister. I really believe that my mother finally got that extension above the garage, only to split us up and stop our God dam fighting (but in truth separate rooms didn't really stop the arguments)! We did fare better than my poor brother though, who lived his days there in the box room, which really wasn't big enough to swing a cat in. It wasn't so bad in his younger years, but when he had his pubescent growth spurt and turned into a 6'3 giant it wasn't so easy. I still have the memory of walking in his room and seeing him asleep with his legs daggling off the end of the bed which was the length of the room, and which my brother exceeded both by quite a bit.

How did I come to live here you ask? Well Howard (or now as he is more commonly know H) has friends in high places. Me and Kat were trawling the Internet looking at pokey, modern flats in Cardiff with no personality, thinking this would be our life for the next 9 months, when H told us we didn't need to bother.
"I have a friend who has a mansion just outside of Cardiff in the countryside. We can live there!"
Now you would expect my initial reaction, would be "Amazing"!, but in fact it was the complete opposite. The reason for this were:
1. It's in the countryside! I have never lived in the countryside in my life. I'm an urban girl. I don't know any different. What do people do in the countryside anyway? Drink cider and make out in the hay? Actually it doesn't sound that bad!

2. It's an old mansion. It's probably haunted and cold. I had visions of suits of armour with cobwebs; portraits with eyes that follow you, creaky floor boards and constantly being cold, which I am normally.

3. It's in Cardiff and I don't want to live there! I want to live in London.

I cried most of the journey from London to Cardiff with my belongings piled up high in my car and as I entered the drive way I was all doom and gloom about my new home, that I didn't want to live in. Luckily it surprised me. Though it was big, it wasn't too big. There were no suits of armour, cobwebs, and creaky floorboards, and with the log fire burning (Yes we have a log fire!) it was toasty.

Because I have the most stuff I was given the big room at the front of the house. My first impression when I walked through the door was, Oh my God! It looks like some really dated B&B, in somewhere like Margate! Then I had a change of mind and thought the dated, Margate B&B look was quite cool. I love the old ceramic sink in the corner; I feel very a home sat doing my make up every morning at the kitsch dressing table; and my favourite thing? Well that has to be the curtains! There so bad there good! My belongings have blended quite well in to my new surroundings; my trinkets; old pictures and blankets have formed a mish mash of styles and eras, but it seems to work in this room. Even though I write this post in the early hours of the morning, as I am suffering from another bout of insomnia, I feel quite at home and safe in my little (well actually it's quite big) haven. One complaint: there is no book shelf for my huge book collection, which for now must now reside in the boxes piled high in the corner.

So I will take you on a whistle stop tour of the place with my favourite parts of the house.

EXHIBIT A: THE SPORTS RACK
At the entrance of the door you will find a vast array of old sporting items: cricket bats; hockey sticks and Tennis rackets. We will be adding to the collection, as me and Kat want to play croquet on the lawn when it gets hotter, in summer dresses, while drinking Pimms. I also like the old weather gauge above them as well.

EXHIBIT B: THE MAIN LIVING ROOM
My favourite room is the main living room (yes there is more than one living room)! It has a grand piano, wooden panelling, but my favourite bits are the log fire which we warm ourselves round at night, and the books. Oh! I love books so much (When I retire I'll probably become a librarian). I find myself perusing the shelves for ages when no one is looking.

EXHIBIT C: THE HALLWAY
It has an antelopes head that looks sadly down at you; a gong to order people to dinner; Toby jugs; but the best, with out a shadow of doubt is the Edward Burne Jones that hang above the stairs. I mean Edward Burne Jones! I use to look at his pictures in books, forever when I was studying art; and now there just there, greeting me when I get home from work.

EXHIBIT D: THE ELEPHANT FOOT INK WELL
Wrong, macabre and probably completely illegal now, but the Elephant foot ink well is very fascinating at the same time.

EXHIBIT E: THE STONE UNICORNS
There are four of them in each corner of the drive way. I feel they are our little guardians, watching over and protecting us.

EXHIBIT F: THE SECRET GAMES CUPBOARD
Oh hello! One of the panels in the main living room, opens up to become a secret games cupboard. It's full of every game under the sun. The classics; Monopoly; Cluedo; Buckeroo? But I'm especially drawn to the huge 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle as I use to do them with my dad as a child.

EXHIBIT G: THE GARDEN
I was pottering around my room when something caught my eye.
"Oh my God Kat! There is a giant trampoline in the garden!"
As me and Kat are probably the silliest girls you will ever meet (we are OK with this, as it makes life more fun!) it didn't take us long to find ourselves after work bouncing away on it and laughing like idiots (God knows what the Hell the neighbours must think of two grown women acting like children on a trampoline)?We also, on our little adventure found a tree house complete with seating area and slide, and have decided to have a treehouse party in the summer.

Me and Kat spend most of our nights sat by the fire eating a vast array of different cheese boards (I know we are sad)! We actually have become also addicted to university challenge, though we can't really answer any of the questions. Cheese and university challenge, what more does a girl need (no wonder everyone at work thinks we are completely mad)! In fact university challenge has finished now after a great award cermony with presentation by a very stiff as a corspe, Camilla Parker Bowles, so we are now left with a huge void in our Monday night lives. Apart from that we are quite happy in our little country retreat hidden away from the world, though it doesn't feel like home yet. Maybe it never will, but I could think of worse places to have a stop gap in.