What do you get if you combine a red head hippy, a Romany who lives in Chelsea, a blunt cockney, a northern who drinks too much, staying in a cottage in the middle of no where, driving around Tuscany in the smallest car on earth? Well you get a very interesting week?
We arrived from Florence late on Saturday after 2 hours stuck on the motorway (Yes other countries do have traffic jams!) and then got lost on the country roads. We are staying in a little Hamlet called Montefinali, which is miles from anywhere. It was built in the 13th century but was restored a couple of years ago into plush cottages. The place is really amazing and has a great pool and lots of places to walk, unfortunately it has none nothing but rain since we have been here, much to the dismay of Deb’s who now believes that she is cursed with the weather and holidays due to her last couple of vacations being total wash outs. So really all we have been doing is sitting around wrapped in blankets like OAP’s, getting drunk on lots of wine and eating like pigs. There is not much else you can do. I do believe we might have to book into weight watchers and the Priory after this! We have managed to venture out on a few occasions, when it has stopped raining, in our box like Fiant Panda, which we have named Fifi. The girls didn’t seem too impressed with the car when we picked it up, as we could hardly fit the luggage and ourselves into it, but as I explained it was very cheap and it did move, just quite slowly. On the first night we managed to go to a local village Sant Gusme which was having a fiesta (this was after getting lost quite a lot and me getting bad car sickness again!). I think I like Italian fiestas as it basically means going around and trying out all the local wines and getting drunk. We are staying in the Chianti region of Tuscany, which is famed for its red wine. So its quality wine we are getting drunk on, which makes a change. After eating another amazing meal we then sat in the field and watched the best fire work display I have ever seen.
Today we battled with the weather again, trying to do a BBQ in the pissing rain, which was quite fun considering none of us between us have ever lit one before! It made us feel really good and a bit like men with a penis extension. Who needs men! In fact we haven’t left the cottage today apart from to get wine so we can get more drunk! I have decided to jump ship a bit early though, with Romany Liz and head to Verona and then to Venice as I’m getting a bit of cabin fever stuck in the middle of nowhere with this weather. If I stay around any longer I will turn into an alcoholic tramp, as I am already starting to look like one! Besides I like to go to Verona as I have heard if you rub the breast of the statue of Juliet you are meant to find true love. I hope that true or I will end up looking like some big fetish statue lesbian!
OBSERVATIONS
• It seems I have picked up yet another nick name to go along with, Griff, Grifftak, Carlsberg, Carlita Bonnita, Carlos, Stella McCarly, Young Twat, barky, Bon Bon, Long legs and Fight Club! Yes the girls have started to call me Johnny Rotten apparently because of my Rock n Roll lifestyle. Its funny, I shouldn’t, but I actually like it!
• I have learnt to put things to rest. What’s done is done, there is nothing you can say, and even though there are so many words you still have left in my head. They are pointless and must be forgotten for I am doing nothing but banging my head against a wall. It wasn’t my fault; there is nothing I could have done differently, as it wouldn’t have been me, then. I have no regrets. I am stronger from it. It is now over and dead. Lay it to rest.
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