The Life and Times of Lady Warrington: WELCOME HOME

I never really know what I'm going to come home to on a daily basis in my place in London: a photo shoot in the flat; a cat falling from the ceiling or a gathering that seems to have turned into a party again. So after 5 months away I really, really didn't know what the hell, I was going to find when I walked through the door. To my surprise I found a calm empty house. I had the place to myself. It was quite nice to be eased back into my surroundings. It was still the same, but different. The warehouse which was already cluttered with stuff seemed to have accumulated much more. I find out we have been donated Alex's, dead uncle Roy's stuff, which includes framed pictures of Dead uncle Roy's dead cats, which now sit over Moomin Troll's bed like a shrine; all of dead uncle Roy's ceramic collection, which includes Diana & Charles memorabilia; and pictures of dead uncle Roy himself.

Please add to this a ton of crystal wear which Oli got from working in the art department on the film, The Iron Lady. I tell Oli that maybe we could sell them on eBay and say "As used by Meryl Streep!" I asked if Meryl drank from any of the glasses because then we could add they have Meryl Streep germs too. I don't think Oli likes my eBay idea?

I also see some very unwanted additions! More God dam dolls! Oli keeps finding the most horrible, ugly dolls and puppets around Hackney wick and brings them back to the flat! I'm scared of them and hate them too. In the past the boys of my house, have found it really funny to put them in my bed and sit there waiting to hear my screams when I find them. I got my revenge though, at our Jane Fonda Party when I got some girls who I didn't know to throw them on the bonfire we had going outside, so I wouldn't get in trouble. Unfortunately one of them survived and Oli found out I was the culprit anyway! I'm now thinking of ways to get rid of this new batch!

Three people that were home, were our cats, Hank, Cassius and Moomin Troll. I had missed them so much while I was away and was so excited to see them, but as I greeted and hugged them, they looked at me like a complete stranger. No, I thought! They don't remember me. Well I have been away for 5 months. It will take time.

Oli arrived back and then later the whirlwind that is Alex, and they hadn't changed in the slightest. I realised then how much I loved them and how much I'd missed them. I guess there more than friends to me these days; there like my family also. I sat there chatting and probably boring them with the tales of my travels, for ages but I also felt anxious as I was awaiting the arrival home of 3 people in our house that were strangers to me. I had rented my room out to an Aussie girl called Tylie, Angus who is still traveling had rented his out to a Brazilian guy called Guilherme and my other housemate Rohan had moved in with his girlfriend while I was away, so in his place we had an English guy called Nick. Then suddenly everyone seem to come home at once, add to this our friends Melaine and Jenny bursting in very drunk also, it was all a bit overwhelming and all of a sudden I felt like a stranger in my own home.

Luckily I got to speak to my new housemates in a calmer setting the next day and it didn't take long for me to realise that they were all lovely. My unease was soon put to rest.

Alex being the Miss organised that she is, had decided to have a welcome home BBQ for me, though to be fair it was probably just a good excuse to throw another party in Oslo house. Everyone brought food and booze and I'm proud to say I cooked the best Asparagus and polenta quiche ever. Even Oli said it was amazing, and he's like master chef! This means a lot for girl who's known culinary skills consist of cereal with milk and peanut better on toast.

It was a great BBQ. The sun shone, loads of people turned up. I got to see and catch up with loads of friends and I found my feet once again in London. Alex had purposely invited lots of single guys, and kept coming up to me and saying "Well, do you fancy anyone?"
"No, I'm not really interested", I replied. It's the truth I really wasn't. I was just happy to see my friends, that's what mattered. I've decided that I'm really happy on my own right now. It's a nice feeling. If someone wants me, they can come and get me, as I'm not looking anymore. I'd grown so tired of the London dating scene before I left; all the games; the being messed around. The thought of going back to it fills me with a sense of dread. It still won't stop Alex trying to marry me off though, I expect.

Unfortunately my friend Melaine's new housemate, Greg decided he did want me and started following me around like a puppy dog, and then as he got more drunk started to tell everyone that he was going to "Smash me!" The only thing he smashed that night was himself as he passed out on the living room floor. God! Why do I always get them.

It feels nice to be back, but I've been traveling before and I know that this feeling doesn't last. After the excitement of being back, comes the fall of being back to reality. It's depressing. I know it will hit me, I just don't when and it doesn't matter how prepared you are for it, it always hits hard. Until then I will keep as busy as possible and pretend it won't happen. I start work again tomorrow, for the first time in over 5 months. Now that will be back to reality.