SHIT HAPPENS!

I often ask myself, why do I go travelling? What is it, that I am looking for? What do I want to get out of it? I like to tell myself and others, that it is a sense of adventure, that I seek. So to prove this point I decided it would be good to climb the second highest volcano in Indonesia, Mount Rinjani in Lombok. Those of you who know me well, will remember that me and mountains don't really go together too well. I have enough trouble staying on my feet when I am on a flat surface, so anything other than horizontal becomes quite dangerous for me (I blame my balance on having small feet for my height!) This time though I was determined that it would not get the better of me. We started the 2 day hike at 7.00am after being picked up at 4.00am for a 2 hour drive there. Along for the ride were a Canadian couple Dave and Jenni who we had met on the ferry on the way over to Lombok and so this was a merry little troop. I was not best equipped in my crap converse trainers and linen trousers but I figured if the guide could climb in a pair of flip flops I had no excuse, and climb we did, 2,600ft of bloody climb! After marching through mud and rain and what seemed to be an ongoing asthma attack for me, we finally reached the base camp just before dark. I was cold and wet and had the luxury of sleeping on top of a mountain in a tent that smelt like those old people that piss themselves. We then proceeded to be attacked by monkeys while having dinner, who were after our food. Well a least we have a camp fire to warm and dry ourselves off, I thought. I took off my Converse and put them next to the fire to dry out. A couple of minutes later I felt smelt a strange smell and looked down. "Shit!" I had set my shoe on fire. I quickly picked it up and rubbed it in the mud only to find a huge hole in the side! I counted to ten and decided it was best to go to bed before anything else happened. After a sleepless night listening to people snore and a local who had been apparently taken over by a demon and was chanting all night, we were woken by our guide a 4.00am again to continue the track to the top in the dark to see sunrise. Oh my god I thought I was going to die it was so hard. After being the last one to the top and missing sunrise as I was so slow I was still proud that I had made it to the summit and that the worst must be over with. How wrong I was! What goes up must come down, but I wish coming down was not so painful. The crap converse which now had a hole in the side the size of the Titantic's were staring to fall apart and so was I. Every 2 seconds I kept falling down getting more bruised and cut each time. Jan and the guide had to hold each of my hands and guide me down only for me to fall still, into a ditch with only my legs sticking up in the air. I eventually made it down and could see base camp in sight and thought I was home free until I lost my balance again and put my hand down into a bush to steady myself. It just so happens that was also the place where somone had decided to relieve themselves in the night! Yes thats right! I put my hand down right into a human shit! I laughed, then Jan was laughing, then I told him to piss right off and stormed off. I sat crying for a minute and told myself that wasn't this what I had come looking for, adventure? I laughed. Then I thought about it again and cried!
After the horror of the volcano we find ourselves in the Gilli islands, which are paradise. White sand, turquoise sea and great chill out bars. There are no police here so people just seem to be on magic mushrooms and stoned all the time. Its very funny. Now that I can walk again and the cuts are healing we are off tomorrow on a boat for 4 days(Which we are sleeping on the deck of to save money!), to Komodo Island to see the famous dragons. Lets just hope they don't shit near me!

OBSERVATIONS

* I think I am cursed as well as the cuts, shit and setting shoes on fire I have also been stung my jelly fish and broke my sunglasses in the last couple of days.

* My hair seems to be going afro.

* Jan has become obsessed with monkeys after to we went to Monkey Forest in Ubud, Bali. He has now lots of dirty Monkey pictures after they just kept humping in front of us.

* All my clothes, smell really bad!