NO MONEY, NO HONEY!

We have had a change of plan. In fact we have had a lot of changes of plan. I do believe we might be on plan Z now, due to the fact that Jan and me have suddenly become so indecisive. We have finally decided to stick to our original flight, after realizing, changing it would cost £50 each and that Indonesia was way too big to do all of it in a month. So we are going to concentrate our efforts in the centre of the country and do the islands of Bali, Lombok, Kalimantan, and Sulawesi. Because of this decision, we are still in Singapore, though we leave for Bali tonight. Yeah!
My Nan, Lil, use to live in Singapore in the 1950’s. She always says she would not want to return here now. It’s too clean and modern for her these days. She preferred it when it was dirty, with opium dens, brothels and shantytowns. “When it had character,” she always remarks. To be fair you can see her point of view. To look at Singapore is as near as you can get to a Utopian society. There is no dirt, no rubbish, hardly any crime; everything is on time and works! This is why my Lil would hate it. For me I quite like it after all the traumas you seem to get living in London. It is also quite cheap for a city, but not cheap enough for us backpackers. With us staying an extra two days, we decided to hunt down the cheapest hotel going. We searched the Internet and found a cheap one just outside the centre and near the train. Great! I thought. There was just one problem! Jan had forgotten to tell me something about where we were staying. While we were in Thailand, Jan procured a book with the lovely title “No Money, No Honey” about prostitution in Singapore. He was engrossed in it, so much so he finished it in a day (Wonder why?) Anyway, I later learn that Singapore has a big red light area called Geylang and guess where our hotel is? Yes! Right slap bang in the centre of Geylang! We walk to our hotel in the day, which on the surface seems to be in a very pleasant neighborhood, but then you start to look closer. Men cruising in cars, a few scantily clan girls on the corner and rooms to rent by the hour. We get to our hotel, which can also be rented by the hour and the manager informs us, that he will put us in a room at the top of the hotel, as the lower floors can be noisy with all the coming and goings. Oh my God! We are staying in a brothel and not just any old brothel as we later find out, but the biggest whorehouse in town! As night falls, if you didn’t realize you were staying in the red light district, you do now! As we leave the hotel the streets are crammed with hookers and men. I have never seen anything like it in my life, the sheer scale of it. The hookers stand on every square inch of the street and the men which consist of mainly Chinese and a few Indian and Westerners walk by like they are window shopping and look these girls up down like they are pieces of meat. When they see something they like they disappear into one of the nearby hotels for a bit. It’s disgusting all these pretty, young Chinese and Thai girls having to service these vile men. Most of these men are married and some are quite young too. I get stared at a lot, being the only blonde haired Western woman around. I’ve told Jan that he is not to leave me alone as when he does the locals seem to think that I am some Russian hooker. He now uses it as blackmail, because if I don’t behave myself he keeps saying he’s going to pimp me out to the highest bidder. I must say though its all very interesting, maybe more to Jan than me, as I keep catching him with his mouth wide open and his tongue hanging out, so I have to give him a good old slap now and again.
As for the book “No Money, No Honey,” Lil took it to read as she had finished her Jackie Collins and said it could be interesting. Maybe after reading it she might realize Singapore is not so clean after all.

OBSERVATIONS

• Hotels in Singapore with a number in big type are usually brothels or places where paid for sex can take place. Ours was hotel 81.

• I have found out it is the Chinese year of the rat. That will explain all the furry little bastards in Kuala Lumpur.

• I think I want to live in Asia, as the food is so good.

• Chinese Men seem to think it’s quite acceptable to have moles with lots of long hairs growing out of them. It is not!

• Lots of Chinese people wear glasses.