CHUI DUAY,CHAN JOM NAM!

Chui duay,chan jom nam! translated means "Help! I'm drowning!" It sums up exactly how I have felt at times during this last week with the family. Its been very hard at times and trying to keep everyone happy is so tiring, but we survived. The weddding day itself was a great day. Yuko looked stunning, Darren did a great speech in Japanese and English, and dad after a few drinks, told the Japanese car thief joke once again:
"What do you call a Japanese car thief?"
"Tommy took a motor!"
Of course none of Yuko's family got it and there was that tumble weed slience for a moment. We have parted ways now, after we were spoilt on our last night in Lamai in Koh Sumui when Mum and Paul paid for a lovely beach front bungalow for me and Jan. She said it was going to be our last bit of luxury for a long time and it bloody well is as I spent a fortune the week they were here. On our last night together I took Lil to see a lady boy show to keep her satisified as I wouldn't let her go and see a ping pong show as I didn't think it appropriate for nan's. She loved it in fact it was one of the high lights of the holiday for her. I don't know if Paul could say the same as the lady boys seemed to take a shine to him and kept hugging and kissing him. Darren and Jan stayed way and did "Man Things" like playing pool.
My mum broke her designer Gucci glasses. She is going to claim them on the insurance. She will have to fill out the form as follows, and I swear this is no word of a lie!

CAUSE OF DAMAGE TO ITEM:
Well I was on holiday in Thailand with my family and I was watching these elephants play football, and I was sat behind the goal post. The next thing one went to shoot and missed and hit me square on in the face and knocked me out and off my stool. I was wearing the sunglasses when this happened and it bent them in to! Oophs!

Me and Jan are now off to Phi Phi on our own and I think deep down, even with all the hassle I might just miss the family a little bit!

OBSERVATIONS

* I was walking in Lamai and came across a bar with a pole in the middle, and had a flashback to three years ago when I was last here, to me, Brown and Debs girrating round the very same pole totally smashed with a load Go-Go girls. Completely forgot about it. Wonder why.

* Went to a snake farm with Jan and put a burmese python round my neck. They are actually very cute. Might get one as a pet.

* Starting to turn a nice shade of brown. That one was just for all you pale ones back home!

* Yuko's dad had seen Laurence of Arabia years ago and thought because of it that all English people were serious and sensible. His view has now changed after meeting my family.