THE GIRL JUST CAN'T HELP IT!

So people I am writing you this post, sat on the concrete floor (Oh the glamour!) outside Cancun airport, Mexico, drinking my first of what I feel could be many Margaritas to come, as I'm going to be sat here for the next 2 hours waiting for a bus! Not like it bothers me ( God though it's bothering most of the Americans here, who are screaming at the poor little Mexican guy who sells the tickets and are demanding to know why the buses are sold out and why there are not more)! Actually this is why I come traveling; the chaos; the non routine; the not knowing what's going to happen next. God I love it! In fact I'm addicted! Totally and utterly! And it seems to be getting worse. Even though I've spent more time out of the country this year than in it, I had a couple of weeks back in London, I got bored with life; the winter set in and I got itchy feet. I found myself in WH Smith or waterstones again looking at traveling guides longer than I should; I was reading the Guardians travel pull out section with excitement and I was trying to convince my friends on a trip abroad that I knew they would never do! After many failed plans of departing, I had almost given up, when Oli and Alex ( or as they are now known Olex!) my housemates announced they were going to Mexico for a couple of weeks, and did I want to join them? Dam right I do! Besides Olex are completely mad so I knew it would be quite an experience, no matter what.

Now your probably going to find this slightly strange due to the amount of traveling I do, but I'm actually scared of flying, especially landing and take off. I'm convinced every time I get on a plane it's going to crash! Now the Aussie Dingo's introduced me to Valium in the Colombian jungle and I found it an amazing experience. Since then I learnt that Angus and Oli have a supply and now and again I pop one when I am full of cold and can't sleep (bliss)! Oli informed me he had some for the trip. Due to the fact that I was getting myself into a state, thinking about things I shouldn't be thinking about again (story of my life) and the fact that I'm getting on on a flight, I board the plane a complete anxious mess!
"Oli give me a valium now!"
The next thing I know I wake up God knows how long later, with a woman sat next to me who wasn't there when we took off and a tray of congealed food in front of me. I'm completely spaced out and I'm not really sure what's going on, buts that OK, because my anxiety has completely gone. I'm just sat there with this warm relaxed feeling in my head, though Olex said they just kept turning around in their seats seeing me looking into space like a zombie!
Now we got cheap flights because we had to have a lay over in Minneapolis. Now I don't know much about the place, so I could be being unfair here but one word I would use to describe Minneapolis is, grey. Then the next word I would use to describe it is? Grey. And then after that the next word I would use to describe it is? Yes that's right; Grey! It's so depressing, it makes Warrington look like Saint Tropez! The one good thing though about the place is, it does have the biggest mall in America! And yes what does mean? Victoria's Secrets! Remember my time in Miami? How I found VS and how it changed my life by giving me breasts for the first time in my life in a bikini! We don't have VS in the UK, so this was my chance! Me and Alex raced into the shop.
Shop Assistant: Hi there, can I help you?
Me: Yes, can you tell me where the bikini's are?
SA: I'm afraid we don't have any bikini's yet.
Me: What!
AS: It's December. We don't get them until the summer starts.
Me: Really! But I'm going to Mexico tomorrow and I need one!
AS: I'm sorry.
Me: Well Top Shop do swimwear all year round. Do you have Top Shop here?
AS: Sorry I don't know what Top Shop is. I've never heard of it.
What, she doesn't know what Top Shop is. Never heard of it! Don't have it. What kind of civilisation is this? We spend the rest of our time at the mall a little down beat and trying not to let Alex make rude comments about fat people (she has a thing about fat people)!
Olex got an earlier flight to Cancun than me and so this how I find myself a lone at the airport, waiting for a bus to try and meet them in Tulum, waiting for my Mexican adventure to begin, but if I'm truthful on an adventure I can't really afford, but hey the girl just can't help it.

After I wrote the above and as I am now sober this is what followed:
I had more Margaritas; got very drunk; met some cool girl called Jet who own's a hotel out here and said I could stay there; met some American hippies who hoola hooped while waiting for the bus; got the bus; had to change buses; had to wait again; started on the Corona's; got some muscly young Mexican guys to open them with their lighters; got chatting to some old Mexican dude who was trying to teach me Mayan; got to Tulum; my phoned died of battery; tried too drunkenly get my charger out of my rucksack and that's when Alex found me a little worse for wear, but that's OK because so was she, as she and Oli had been on the Margarita's too, as they had bumped into Oli's friend from England (small world); so we all went and had more Margaritas together and have called ourselves team Tulum! The end! No its not! It's only the beginning. Ha ha!