TEAM TULUM

Three is a crowd they say. Well not in our case; mine and my housemates; Olex, that is! Though from a outsiders prospective it did look like some strange ménage à trois was going on. One guy in a room with two blondes, who went everywhere together and ate together. In fact when we checked in, the manager asked where the other woman was as well, as my friend Hannah was originally going to stay with us. I think he thought Oli was some kind of pimp. Though I don't think Oli minded? Actually, it didn't help matters when Alex started touching my breasts on the beach, as if to say look at the size on those (I had my Victoria's secret bikini on) and some couple were watching us, looking bemused. Alex then insisted we rub sun oil on each others backs, which we did, just to stir things up more. The thing is we just get on so well. We are more than friends. We are more like family: Oli is like my brother and Alex, well she is like my sister or my mother depending on what mood she is in! Anyway we live together, so traveling together and sharing a room was no big deal. We know each other inside out; warts and all.

We are happy in our own company and each others, well me and Oli are anyway. The thing is Alex has this problem of not being able to sit still for more than two seconds, (she also has a problem of not being able to cover up, which turned out to be a bit of a nightmare when they went on a trip to India a couple of years back)! To be fair to her, she did very well for the first two days, as me and Oli are quite happy to sit around reading our books, not saying a lot, but by New Years Eve we could see her chomping at the bit; she couldn't sit still and she was being erratic. She basically needed to socialise and go wild!

Luckily Team Tulum was in town. When Olex had got off the bus in Tulum they bumped into one of Oli's old work colleagues, Charlie and her boyfriend Hills. After a few Margarita's we formed a plan, to all meet up and celebrate new year together as, Charlie also had three friends in town as well. Now I wasn't to sure about this as her friends were called Pippa, Petra and Lucienne, so this made me think that the cast from Made in Chelsea were going to turn up. Charlie had booked us a posh restaurant a long the beach, which we turned up to late as the dam taxi driver didn't speak any English and I missed a letter out when I was trying to spell it to him in Spanish and he had dropped us in the wrong place, so we had to walk for twenty minutes. Though can I add, I do not think this was entirely my fault as the restaurant he dropped off at had done of the letters I spelt to him, which I did try to point out before we got out of the cab. Anyway moving on. We eventually got to the restaurant and my fears of Made in Chelsea are quickly lifted as Charlie's friends turn out to be cool. Alex gets very excited that she actually has other people to talk to other than me and Oli and goes into hyper over drive. Soon the wine and the Margarita's are flowing, and for people that have just met we all get on like a house on fire (not like Alcohol has anything to do with it)? Soon we become so loud, it seems like the whole restaurant is looking at us (which they are)! Not like we care at all by then. We make a toast:
"To Team Tulum. Cheers!"
After Alex has done a Russian dance with a Mariachi band; we have taken lots of stupid pictures of ourselves with stupid spectacles; and I have to have my picture taken with the Rico Sauve waiter, we stumble out of the restaurant and decide to head to Charlie's fancy Eco resort where she is staying, as they are having a big party.

Rather than pay top wack for drinks, we decide to sneak in a bottle of Tequila and some shot glasses (not sure where they came from?) and do crafty shots. It was a good job we did this due to the fact we get even more drunk, and so are just about able to cope with the rest of the people at this party, who all turn out to be rude, obnoxious, wankers! They included the international clubbers, an English actress talking shit who both me and Oli have worked with (Alex got very excited about this and wanted us to go and say hi and network. We refused as one: she wouldn't remember us and two: she was an idiot!); the boho, hippy types; and the gay mafia. The more drunk we got, the more opinionated about the resort and its clientele, with Charlie even have a drunken rant to the management about the place. After enduring enough, we found ourselves at a beachside bar in the early hours of the morning swigging beer and strangely watching people being thrown off a bucking bronco. By this stage after consuming enough alcohol between us to fill a brewery, we had lost the power of speech and all sat there in some half coma state. It was time to call it a night, and thus saw the end of another New Year seen in, in the only style we know how: Drunkenly!

The next morning with sore heads and me and Oli realising that you can get Margaritas downers, we dragged ourselves to the beach again, to sunbathe and see the last dregs of the hardcore revellers stagger home after the previous nights proceedings. That night we meet up with Team Tulum again, and again drank to many Margaritas (Don't we ever learn)? In no time we are all well on our way (No appears we don't learn at all)! We had gone for drinks way down the beach which is miles long. It being New Years day there was not a taxi in sight. It looked like we were going have to walk the whole way back which was going to take over 2 hours, when Alex managed to hitch hike us a lift on the back of a pick up truck. Good times.

The next day it was time to leave Tulum. I can't say I didn't enjoy it (we did have the best Ceviche here ever!), but it was far too big, spread out and full of idiots for me. We packed our bags. Our next stop: Belize!