SO FAR, SO GOOD!

I always have this fear of flying into Bangkok.  I watched Bangkok Hilton when I was a child and have seen Midnight express far to many times.  I think that I will pick my bag off the luggage carriage, and turn round to find myself surrounded by Thai police with guns and dogs screaming at me with words I can't understand.  They then proceed to open my bag and find half a ton of cocaine which has been planted there by some unknown person. I protest my innocence as I am dragged away screaming, to be put in a cockroach infested cell and left to rot for years by a harsh sentence and a incompentent British embassy.  People always say I have an overactive imagination.  None of this happened of course!  In fact we had a great journey to Bangkok.  For a start we got to Heathrow free as the barriers were down both side of the tube.  As we checked in at the BA counter, they told us the flight was over booked and they were looking for volunteers to back down for £450 each and a free nights accommodation.  Of course me and Jan, the cheapskates that we are volunteered straight away.  Much to our disappointment there was room for us, but we did get a free meal at the airport and £20 to spent in duty free for our efforts.  So it was not all in vain.

We are now on the Koh San, in some cheap guest house that has not seen a lick of paint since I was last here and it needed it then.  Also the last time I stayed at this place I was greeted by a cockroach that popped out of the air con as I opened it.  I forgot to tell Jan that part, but I think it something that he doesn't need to know, do you?

SOLD

There are many addictions in this day and age: drugs, alcohol, fags, food, you name it, but if I was to stand up at an addicts meeting and confess my sin, I would say "My name is Carly, I'm twenty eight years old and I am a ebay addict!"  In truth I have been full member of ebay now, for over two years, and even though I did get the odd thrill when I managed to win someone's old crap on a auction I would never class myself as an addict.  That was until I started selling!  There's nothing better than selling!  With my finances in crisis and my boredom taking over me I ventured into my parents loft and found pile upon Pile of old crap, all belonging to me!  The cogs began turning!  "If I buy any old shit on ebay, then people will surely buy my old shit!" I thought to myself.  So, began my descent into addiction.  It started slowly.  I just put my old porcelain doll collection at first, which as a child I thought them once beautiful, while everyone around me thought they were rather freaky.  One day I woke up and saw the light and since then they have remained in boxes under the rafters, until now.  After I put them on the auction, I felt unfulfilled still, it wasn't enough!  I wanted to sell more!  More I tell you!  Bags, books, coats, hats, shoes, even mum and Paul's cross trainer (mum said she can't use it as she has bust her knee, though I think she just can't be arsed!) They are all up for sale and yours if you want to pay £2 and postage and packaging charges.  It seems I have sold my soul to the devil called ebay, all for the grand total of £22.50 (my earnings so far!)  I feel I could even sell myself.  If I did it would go as follows:

ITEM DESCRIPTION:

Age: 28

Make: Female

Origin: Northern!

Colour: Bleach blonde.  Sometimes orange if it puts on to much fake tan.

Condition:  A bit rough round the edges (It is from Warrington!)

Height: Lanky

Weight:  Unknown, but keeps being told to put some on, usually by the mother!

This item is of not much use, apart from when it comes to trivial pursuit and anything else where useless information is needed.  Does not need batteries but does require a lot of alcohol to keep fueled.

BIDS= 0

The waiting Game

I have ventured north to the retreat, that I call my parents house.  I believe that it must be one of the best retreats in the world.  Upon your arrival you have your bags taken from your car and placed in your room, which has fresh linen on the bed and is heated ready for your arrival.  You then proceed to the dinning area  where you can chose where you wished to be seated.  My favorite option is usually the sofa with a tray in front of the TV. Also available is a free laundry service, free taxi service,free internet and a multi media system ie sky plus.  I just really can't understand why I keep coming back here when I am in need of comfort, or when I need to save some penny's?  

I have less than two weeks now till I go away but it feels like an age!  To be fair the whole of January has felt like an age!  I have not worked at all and I don't expect to be hearing the phone ring before I go.  I feel like I have not worked in an age.  In fact I do believe this is the longest period I have had without employment.  It feels kind of weird, a constant guilt in fact.  I feel like an idle, lazy person when I'm not working, like one of those dole people.  I have been brought up with my mums attitude of you have to work for everything in this life and sitting around on your ass, is not acceptable.

To make up for the lack of work recently, I have amerced myself in the arts.  Well I say that, but it really means I have been to the cinema a lot, an art gallery once and read a few mags.  Oh!  actually I did do something very grand, I went to the Royal Opera House and watched La Traviata.  Ok, so I don't normally go and watch opera, but it was free and I did really enjoy, even though I couldn't understand a word they were saying and Violetta (the heroine) did have the longest drawn out death in history.  From a visual point of view it was amazing.  The opera House really does everything to the highest standards.  Well apart from the set of act two  which was like one of those bad make overs on changing rooms, with its sky blue sponge wall and cheap look finish.  I did annoy everyone for days afterwards, harping on about that matter of the set.

I think I will spend a week up here, maybe more as I don't want to go back to London till the last minute as it just seems to drain you dry of any money you have.  I do feel bad leaving Jan alone, and I do miss him.  God! I'm getting soft in my old age.  

So it begins!

So I have finally done it!  I have created my very own blog.  Not like I think anyone will read it.  Who really wants to read some one rambling on about everything and nothing.  I don't think I would?  Actually depends how bored I was!  Speaking of boredom,  I am suffering greatly from it today.  The christmas and New Year celebrations are over, and all I am left with is a weakened bank balance, some extra weight and the prospect of a cold, dull january.  With no sight of employment until we go away I have decided to hibernate for the rest of the month indoors in just my PJ's, watching daytime TV, hence the boredom.  Probably thats why I created the blog. Oh! and the fact that I have Jan in my ear every to seconds going "Have you created your blog yet, honey!"  

God I'm being very depressing for a first posting!  Well on a positive note I have started a detox as over the christmas period I consumed enough wine to stock an Odd Bins store, and have eaten more chocolate than Dawn French on a Terry's chocolate Orange ad.  For the purer health of my body (Probably bank balance to!) I am banning myself from alcohol till Thailand.  I am also going to go to bikram yoga at least two times a week, thanks to the fact that Jess, from number seven, went back to Oz and left me her card with loads of free lessons on it.  At twelve pound a lesson, its very expensive staying fit.  So by the time I get to the beaches of Ko Samui I will be a lean mean, toned yoga goddess. Well thats the plan anyway.