AND NOW THE END IS NEAR AND SO I FACE THE FINAL CURTAIN

"Are you American?"
"What! No!"
I was finding myself in my first, of what would be many crazy conversations with Ronál, a crazy guy who I met in Peru, who ran the guesthouse I stayed in. He would later ask me if I'd like to be his girlfriend. I told him I didn't think it would work out (besides he came up to my chest)! he continued:
"But you speak English very well!"
"Well funnily enough I'm from this place called England, where we speak English!" I said
"Haaa! You are the real English then?"
"I wasn't aware there was a fake version knocking around" I replied. Ronál just laughed and carried on. "So you English and Americans, you very much the same?" This was a question I got asked quite a lot around Latin America and everytime I gave the same reply: "No, not at all. In fact we couldn't be more different!"

Now that I found myself in Miami, I was now reminded of this fact. You see I realise that every time I come to America, I don't quite get it. We may speak the same language, but Miami felt more alien to me than any other place I had been on my travels. You see for me the American Mentality is bigger is better, everything in your face and confidence dripping from ever pore. The English mentality is let's not make a big song and dance about things, let's just take the piss out of ourselves and we will just take the easy options because we don't want to cause any fuss! We are complete opposites. This is why I find America so fascinating; because I just don't get it!

I had to fly home via the States, so I decided to stop off in Miami for 4 days to see my friend Billy. Billy who's real name is actually Chris (long story!), had been my travel guide round Latin America, as he traveled my route the year before, and had given me handy tips and advice throughout my journey. I'd not seen him in nearly 2 years as he'd been traveling for a year and then landed himself a job with an Argentinean company but got posted to Miami.

I arrived in Miami, totally exhausted. After 2 weeks of continual partying in Buenos Aires and Rio, my skin was bad, I had bags under my eyes, My throat was sore and I was pale after two and half months with no real sun. Basically I felt like shit. In London I always remember Billy being just as up for a party as I was, so I prepared myself for another onslaught of drinking and late nights. Oh God, I thought to myself, I'm going to go back to London a total wreck, so you can imagine my surprise, but totally relief when Billy turned round to me and said, he was rather tired, not feeling 100% and would I mind if we took it easy. "I couldn't be happier", I replied and I really meant it. I guess I'm not as young as I use to be.

I hadn't really experienced any privacy or home comforts since staying at Martins in Colombia and that was over 2 months ago. Since then it had become the norm to share a room and bathroom with about a billion other people. After nearly 5 months on the road, Billy's place was a real treat. So I was sleeping on the sofa, but this was no ordinary sofa; it was bigger and more comfy than my bed back in London; I had my own private bathroom, a power shower; air-con; the biggest fridge freezer with an endless supply of cold water; cable TV, a gym and best of all a huge swimming pool. God! I felt like I was in the Hilton. Billy truly has found himself in the good life in Miami. We sat and drank Caipirinhas and talked a lot; about life on the road; how he missed it; how he felt he had to get out of London; I told him I felt the same; I expressed my fears of going home; he reassured me it was going to be OK. I realised that me and Billy were very much the same. We had reached a point in our lives where we were no longer happy with them; we needed to change them and so went looking for some inspiration. The only difference is Billy found the answer. I'm still looking for mine.

One day, Billy had to go to work, so he dropped me at south Beach (a must if your in Miami). My main aim over the 4 days I had there, was to regain my tan, though rather than sunbathing I just found myself people watching! Men in thong trunks, people pumping iron on the beach and boob jobs everywhere! I looked down at mine. I felt like an adolescent boy, like I had,most of this trip. I kept telling myself, well at least there real and don't look like to beach balls stuck to my chest! Feeling in need of some retail therapy, I decided to treat myself to a new bikini as mine were all looking very tatty now. It was then I found it. My Mecca; my heaven on earth. It's name was Victoria's Secret! Even though we don't have VS in England I'd heard of it, but never been to a store. Let's just say we need them in England, because it's changed my life. Yes! I finally found a bikini in their store, that gave me tits and quite big ones at that! This genius of a bikini top, takes what little you have and pushes it all up to make you look like bloody Pamela Anderson. You couldn't stop me smiling and the woman serving me must have thought I was one crazy English girl as all I kept saying to her was, "Look! I've got breasts, it amazing!" After that you couldn't stop me parading around in that bikini, thinking, God I wish I found you at the beginning of my trip. Actually maybe not, I got myself into enough trouble being flat chested! It would have been much worse with breasts!

My time in Miami was just what I needed. I rested, got my tan back, we ate at good restaurants (we went to an amazing Shepherd Ferry one!), I finally got to eat a decent salad again, my throat got better, and Billy took me on the most beautiful day trip to the Florida Keys. At night we drank beer, watched crap movies and laughed at Family Guy (my favourite). Billy was quite distracted most of the time in the evenings though. He had signed up to Match.com for Internet dating. We had both done Internet dating in London. It didn't really go to well for me as I met an alcoholic script writer; a man that had a business in making pre stained underwear; and another guy who told me on our first and only date, that he had wet dreams about me (seriously)! Billy on the other hand, being the playboy that he is, had a great time with it, luring girls in with lines such as "marriage material" and then putting into force the 3 strikes and your out policy (anymore than 3 dates and it's classed as serious)! Billy had decided to try his charms on the American ladies (God help them)! I then got the job of vetting the ones Billy liked, which seemed to come more down to looks than personality. I don't think he was interested in getting to know there personality? As a woman, the girls in America, Internet dating seem quite hard work and very girly. I informed Billy, anyone who quotes their favourite films as being The Notebook, Letters from Juliet; who hates camping and doesn't know what salsa music is, is going to be a hard work Princess, with not much in the way of brains. "Yeah, but she's hot though, isn't she?" was his response. Men!

The whole time I was in Miami, the thought of my travels coming to the end, was always in the back of my mind, and then the moment I didn't want to happen, finally came. I found myself sat at the gate waiting for a flight I didn't want to get. I was scared to go back. I guess I'd thought at times, I wasn't going to go back, that I expected someone or something to pick me up and take me away from it all and I'd never have to go back to my old life. I sat looking at the departure screen. I could see flights for Buenos Aires and Rio. I swear if I'd had the money at that moment in time, I would gone on got myself a ticket to one of them, but I didn't. I could feel the tears start to well up and then they rolled down my face.
"Are you alright?" said the concerned man next to me. I couldn't take it anymore and bolted for the toilets. I locked myself in the toilet and sat there crying. My 5 month adventure was over. I have family and friends that I love and miss, but I sat there and told myself there was no real reason to go home. There was nobody or anything that wanted me back there. But I was going home and if I'm trueful, I knew I needed to. It was at that moment sat crying in a toilet cubicle in Miami airport, I finally admitted to myself that I had ran away from things; that the same problems and the way I felt about myself in England had followed me over to the other side of the world; they just don't go away if your in a new environment because you take them with you. It was time to do something about them. I got up and went to the gate. It was time to go home.

THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD

While on this trip, I one day received an email from a friend, who was concerned about my behaviour. He asked me to be more "Middle of the road" with the way I acted. I replied that I couldn't; as I don't know how. I've come to realise I'm all or nothing. Im addicted to the highs in life and I pursue them sometimes in ways which people would class as reckless or as my sister recently said to me; "You just don't think, sometimes Carly"! There is a problem with the highs though: the fall! I have fallen from great highs in the past, especially the last 2 years and believe me it hurts. I still go back for more though. All that said recently its becoming harder and harder to get back up after these falls and the thought of being more middle of the road on this trip has constantly been in the back of my mind.

Maybe with what I've just said about the way I am, is the reason why I fell in love with Rio. There is nothing middle of the road about it. It's a city that is all or nothing. It's crazy, beautiful, exciting; everything I love. A dangerous combination, me and this city, but I knew I was going to have a hell of a lot of fun here, and that's just what I did.

I arrived in Rio totally exhausted after ANOTHER 24 hour bus journey. I was now once again, totally on my own after leaving Maria. I booked myself into a hostel in Ipanema after a lot of recommendations off travels to stay there. Besides it's the best area to stay in the whole of Rio and I'm in love with the song, the girl from Ipanema. Now after nearly 5 months traveling, and tons more travel experience before this trip, you would think I won't get intimidated anymore. WRONG! I turned up at Ipanema Beach House to find everyone, chatting and laughing with one another. God! I thought, everyone knows everyone, I'm a complete outsider! After getting over my initial fear, I decided to rein in all my people skills and get chatting to everyone. Unfortunately this was to no avail, everyone was completely hungover from the night before. God this is so shit!, I thought and decided to call it a night. Hardly the rocking first night I thought I would have in Rio.

I woke the next morning to sunshine and thought, God dam it! I'm in Rio and there is only one place go be in Rio when the sun is shining: THE BEACH! I hot footed it down there, a long with a French guy from my dorm called Fabrice, who kind of tagged himself onto me, but seemed nice enough. Now I've heard the Brazilians where a beautiful race, but nothing prepared me for what I saw on that beach. I thought the Argentineans where a beautiful, but what I saw there were the most beautiful men I have ever seen in my life. It's not like there were one or two scattered around. No they were everywhere! Every time looked round there was a new one. I was like a kid in a sweet shop. I imagined this was what heaven must be like. God it was amazing. As time wore on, on the beach, it started to become clear to me that Fabrice wanted to be more than just friends! He kept buying me drinks and getting very pissed off with me when, he kept talking to me and I was just nodding and clearly looking over his shoulder and just perving at all the hot men on the beach. I really knew he fancied me when I was lay on the beach and he lay down besides me, grabbed me and started taking pictures of us together like boyfriend and girlfriend. Hello! I've only just met you, I'm not interested and I'm surrounded by hot Brazillian guys! Why do things like this always happen to me? He invited me to go to sugar loaf mountain to watch sunset with him. I couldn't get out of it.

Sugar loaf was amazing. Even though it was cloudly; even though I was with a Frenchman that I didn't fancy and who kept coming on to me; even though I kept thinking I wish I was here with one of the hot Brazillian guys from the beach. Yes! Even with all this. It was amazing! I've seen a lot of cities in my time, but seeing Rio from above I can truly say it's one of the most beautiful cities ever, tucked between tropical mountains, with it's White sandy beaches. It was there my love affair with Rio began.

We got back to the hostel and Fabrice wanted to go out for dinner! SHIT! Think fast! I bumped into some of the guys I had been talking to the night before and quickly arranged that we should all go out for dinner together. No one really had a say in the matter, as that's what I wanted to do, as there was no way I was going out for dinner with just me and Fabrice. Fabrice looked very pissed off. I looked very relieved! After having an all you can eat meat feast which the Brazilians are the best at (totally amazing!) some of us decided to hit the bars. I was left with Fabrice (of course!), the most chilled English guy ever called Tom, and a Israeli guy whose name I can't pronounce so we will just call him Israeli guy! We decided that being in Rio we had to drink Caipirinha's. Warning: After my time in Rio, I have realised that Caipirinhas make you do crazy things, as the following will show. Totally drunk, we realised we were in a gay bar, only after Tom came back from the toilet after being accosted by a man in them. Please bare in mind we had been in this bar for nearly an hour and didn't notice once, we were surrounded by tables full of butch guys in hot pants! This is what Caipirinhas do to you! After a few more bars later, and few Caipirinhas later, we crawled back to the hostel. We all decided to go straight to bed as we were totally wasted. I put my PJ's on realised I needed some water so headed to the reception to get some. Now after this it gets a little bit blurry. I'm at the front desk asking for water and some how I start talking to the Brazilian guy behind the desk in Spanish, as I don't know Portuguese and he starts talking to me in Spanish and we are talking for ages and then he asks me to come and sit with him outside, I say yes, we sit down, we talk, he grabs my face and starts kissing me, I kiss him back and then I stop this moment and go " I'm sorry but I'm in my PJ's. I can't do this!" and storm off to bed.

The next day I wake up with a sore head not really knowing where I am! It takes me an hour of being awake to realise that my handbag with all my money, my phone and my passport is gone. SHIT! I run to reception in an panic and ask the girls at the desk if they have a brown leather bag. They pull my bag out from underneath the desk.
"We just found it left on the desk this morning. What the hell happened to you last night?" one of them asks. Yes, what the hell did happen to me last night I ask myself?
"Caipirinha's" I reply. They laugh back in an all knowing way.

I spend most of the day trying to avoid the guy from the desk that I kissed. I don't even fancy him, I think to myself. It was only because I was drunk on Caipirnha's and he was whispering sweet nothings in to my ear in Portuguese that I even went there. Besides Im a bit besotted with the other guy that works there at the front desk in the day. I ask him to write down the music he plays in the hostel which i think is cool, to add to my growing South American playlist. He does so with his glaring beautiful eyes, smooth smile and sexy voice. God he's so hot, I think to myself. On the good side Fabrice checked out before I woke up. Some one later told me he found out about me kissing the guy at the front desk and was pissed off. What ever!

To try and avoid the guy I kissed even more, I book to go on a tour of the favelas. Favelas for you who don't know is the name for the slums of south America and were made famous from the film The City of God (in my top 5 of best films of all time) and that snoop dog video, Beautiful, with all those girls not wearing much with big asses. On the tour I meet a fellow northern called Jen, who is also at my hostel and we get on like a house on fire. I tell her the favelas are a bit like Salford; we both realise we love guys and motorbikes; we get a lift with some guys from the ghetto on the back of their bikes; we see gansters smoking joints; bullet holes in the walks from gangland fights; drug dealers and the fattest roughest girls you have ever seen. All on all a good day out.

I go out with Jen and everyone from the hostel again that night and yes more bloody Caipirinhas (I told you can't do middle of the road; I never learn)! As everyone I knew was leaving the next day for the beaches of Brazil, we decided to stay up late for farewell drinks at the hostel. This means me and Jen do Northern measures and in no time we are completely drunk! Everyone seems to pass out and goes to bed and I'm left once again with the Brazilian guy that I kissed on reception and his hot volley ball friend. At some point, very drunk I kiss the Brazillian guy again (what the hell am I doing)! After coming back to my senses, I decide to go to bed. As I'm coming back from the toilet, I find the friend, the hot volleyball player friend blocking my door way. Before I continue this story, let me tell you that a lot of travellers had told me about what Brazillian men were like. They are extremely sexual, on heat all the time and very forceful! I was now about to find out, this was very true. As I tried to pass the door, volley ball guy asked me where I was going?
"To bed I reply!"
"Why?" he asked
" Because I'm tired".
He grabs me and tries to kiss me. I push him away. The next thing I know he picks me up, like Tarzan would do to Jane and starts to carry me away. I'm hitting him, but there is little I can do as he is so strong and I'm no match for him. I'm feeling a bit scared. He sits me down on the pool table at the far and starts kissing my neck and chest and whispering, "I want you, I want you"! Oh God, what am I going to do? Suddenly, I remember what the Danish girls had said to me about dealing with full on Brazilian men: You have to just punch them sometimes! So that's just what I do; I full on punch him (I'm a northern girl, I've got a good punch)! He stops in surprise and then I realise Carly is back in control again.
"When I say no, I mean no!" I scream at him, "Now as I said I'm off to bed!" I gracefully stand up, compose myself and walk away. It's as I'm walking back to my room I realise I'm shaking a little.

The next morning I wake up to find a new addition to my room; an Aussie girl called Natalie, who turns out to be a stripper. Natalie is one of lifes characters, very strong, doesn't give a shit and extremely funny. I like her instantly. I tell her about my incident with the volley ball guy, the night before. She just laughs, tells me she had a fling with him last time she was in Rio, that's he a complete arse hole, and that he is like the hostel bike, as everyone has had a go. We then both laughed! We decided to go on a mission to go and see Christ the redeemer (a must see in Rio). This is harder than you think when you don't speak any Portuguese. I had realised by now it was better to speak Spanish than English, but this still wasn't always understood. Two buses later, lots of lost in translation and being escorted by a kind Brazillian woman, we stood at the foot of Corcovado, in the pouring rain looking up to the skies, to realise you couldn't see a dam thing! God dam it! I never got to see Christ the Redeemer, due to the bad weather. We spent the rest of the day in the hostel, feeling miserable as the rain poured down. It's Rio, it not meant to bloody rain, I thought to myself! As we sat around talking, the boys from the hostel told me they were going out that night to a club where there was Samba music and free Caipirinhas from 10-12. Really, the sensible thing to do here, would be to say no, after my last 2 nights on Caipirinhas seemed to have got me into a bit of trouble, but as I'm not sensible, I said yes to going straight away. Besides it was my last night in Rio. I had to make the most of it.

We arrived at the club and it was crammed with people dancing, and downing Caipirinhas. I noticed volleyball guy was there, and I avoided him at all costs. I also noticed that there was a cute guy that kept looking at me. He seemed quite familiar to me, but then I just thought I had one to many Caipirinhas again. As the night wore on people got drunker, the dancing got crazier and everyone I was with seem to have hooked up with someone. I got stuck being chatted up by some boring English guy, when I turned around and saw the guy who had being looking at me all night, stood there. He walked over to me.
"Hello" he said "You don't recognise me do you? I work at your hostel."
Suddenly I recognised the beautiful glaring eyes, the smooth smile and the sexy voice. It was the guy from the front desk that I really fancied, only that he had shaved off his beard.
"Yes, I recognise you now" I smiled.
I spent the rest of the night talking to him, dancing with him and of course kissing him. I got my sexy Brazilian guy after all.

The next day as I left Rio in the taxi, I felt full of sadness. It had left a deep impression on me this city. It felt like a city that suited my personality. It was a place where I didn't feel bad about not being middle of the road. I then remember a conversation I'd had with Tanja one the Danish in girls in La Paz, in a bar, about being middle of the road. She told me that night she envied me.
"Why?" I replied
"Because you take risks! I don't because I'm middle of the road, which is safe but it's ultimately boring!"
I don't do boring, I thought to myself. I'll try the middle of the road, when it becomes exciting. Until then I'll carry on as I am, which isn't bad is it? Next stop, is my final one: Miami.

BENIDORM BAD GIRL 5: IGUAZÚ FALLS

Sometimes as I find out a lot, life can be full of disappointments. As I journeyed to Iguazú falls, which is classed as one of the new 7 wonders of the world, on the border of Argentina and Brazil, I expected to be disappointed again. I heard they were amazing off so many travellers, but I kept saying to myself how good can a bunch of waterfalls be?

I was now back on the road with the gorgeous Maria, which was great. We ventured in the morning to the national park, with me a bit under parr as I'd been up drinking till the early hours of the morning with a group of 7 Aussie guys (what is it with me and Aussie guys)? Maria was really excited, but I was just sat there in mood thinking I'd rather go back to bed. As she dragged me along to see Garganta del Diablo, the biggest of all the waterfalls, all I kept thinking I was going to throw up.

Then something amazing happened. I saw the waterfall. I wasn't disappointed. No! It actually exceeded anything I could of ever imagined in my mind. For the first time in ages, something took my breath away, and suddenly my hangover disappeared. I stood there in awe of the beauty and power of nature.

The waterfalls do something crazy to you and me and Maria spent the rest of the day running around like excited children taking in everything.

The next day we hit the Brazilian side to see more of the falls (it's important to do both sides as they give different views). I only had a short time to see it as I had to catch a bus back to the Argentinean side to catch my bus to Rio. "Must not miss that bus!" I told myself.

As I said before, the waterfalls have a strange effect on you and I got completely side tracked and kind of forgot the time! I rushed back to the entrance to find that my bus had gone. Brazil got to witness it's first Kevin as I was stamping my feet a lot and shouting "Shit! Shit! Shit!" So I'm stuck in Brazil, with no Brazilian money, I don't speak Portuguese and I have to try and get back over the border into Argentina to catch my bus that leaves in an hour and a half! Shit! After my initial freak out I go back into experienced traveller mode and decide to use the only thing that is going to get me out of this mess: My feminine charms!

Being a blonde in South America has been a bit of pain most of the time, but now I used it to my advantage. In no time at all, after doing my little girl lost act, I'm on local bus for free, with some local guy making sure I'm OK. He gets me to a bus that is going to the border which I also get on for free, and then the bus driver becomes my new guardian and makes sure I cross the border safely. I'm back with half an hour to spare to catch my bus. Good going girl, I think to myself. Actually sometimes its good to be a woman.

I sit on my bus heading to Rio thinking, Yes, the last two days I have seen this world at it's most beautiful and I then remember the reason why I travel, for moments like these.

NB: Please note these photos and videos can not come near to summing up what I have seen. I suggest you all go and bloody see it yourselves.

ITS A MANS WORLD

Sometimes, I wish I had a penis, I really do. Sorry that sounds a little strange! What I mean to say, is that I wish sometimes I was a man. It would just be so much easier, especially when traveling, because as much as I hate to say it, the truth of the matter is, it's a man's world out there. Men just have it all there own way. They get don't periods; they can sleep with as many people as they want and get called studs, while women just get called slags; they are always right, even when they are wrong; they usually get better looking as they get older; and they can pee easily in public places. Yes its most certainly a man's world!

In Latin America, I have found myself in probably the heart of a male dominated society, where what the man says rules, where most men have affairs as often as meals; where a woman's main purpose is to please a man. Being as fiery and as fiercely independent as I am, I was always going to find this side of Latin America hard to stomach. I've never been good with men telling me what to do. In fact my head strong ways with men, has often given me the reputation of being a crazy girl, but only from men, (funny that)!

So I now I found myself on my travels, in Buenos Aires; the most, vibrant, cosmopolitan city in Latin America; the place of the beautiful people; the Paris of the south. I had also heard from others on the road it was the place where there were the most Arrogant men on earth. Well this is going to be interesting I thought. I had experienced some Argentineans in Cartagena, in Colombia, where the Buenos Aires rich kids went for vacation. They were some of the most handsome men I have ever seen in my life, but boy did they know it! Their arrogance seeped from their pores as they sat there, thinking; look at me; look at how beautiful I am; I'm God dam amazing! Yeah what ever, I thought!

My friend back in London, Prue, had put me in contact with her friend Alejandro, a local to Buenos Aires, who she had met during a trip to Costa Rica. Prue had warned me before hand, that even though she adored Alejandro, he was very Argentinean, which meant very arrogant. Oh God, did she not realise she was asking for trouble, by giving me an arrogant man to hang out with and to be my guide! When you last left me, on my adventure I was alone in the bus station after arriving in Buenos Aires. The first thing I did was ring Alejandro, as he had asked me to, when I got to the city. The conversation is as follows:
"Hola"!
"Hola, it's Carly, Prue's friend."
"Did you get my emails? Why have you not responded!"
"I've been on a bus for 24 hours"!
"Why didn't you say"!
"Because I've been on a bus for 24 hours"!
"Why are you ringing me at this time, I was a sleep"!
"Its 10.00am, it's not that early and you told me to ring you remember"?
"I've got you an apartment, to say in"!
"Why did you do that! I told you I was going to say in a hostel"!
"Don't you want a place of your own"?
"Of course I do, but I backpacking, I can't afford it"!
"Hostels are expensive here, you can afford it"!
" How much is it"?
"$300 dollars per week. You won't find a hostel cheaper than that!"
" I have, it's 60 Pesos a night, a third of that price."
"Oh!"
"I'm going to the hostel".
"Come here now, to mine. You can have a shower".
"Why, when I can go to my hostel and have one?"
"My place is better"!
"What are you going on about"!
"So your not coming here"?
"No, do you not listen to me"!
"Only 30% of the time. Right woman, you woke me up. I'm going back to sleep. Ring me or Face Book me later woman and we go out."
"OK"!
The line goes dead, and I'm left there holding the phone wondering what the hell just happened. Wait a second, I think to myself, did he just call me woman? Yes he did! Twice! Something tells me this is going to be war!

After a few very direct face book messages, we arrange for him to pick me up from my hostel. He is not a disaapointment, he's exactly as I imagined; very handsome, brimming in confidence and completely arrogant! Its clear from the off me and him are going to have a feisty relationship. He tells me to shut up woman a lot. I tell him to shut up too, a lot. I tell him he's very annoying; he's says I'm annoying. I tell him he's the most arrogant man I've ever met in my life (and that's saying something)! He's says he's not arrogant, he's just the best at everything, because he's Argentinean! He says Argentina has the best looking people, are the best lovers and are the best at football. I tell him the English invented football. He said it doesn't matter as we are shit and Argentina kick our ass.
"What by cheating with your hands"! is my reply.
He then runs round the room waving his hand above his head, shouting
"The hand of God, Maradonna is a God".
"No he's not", I retort " He's a fat, drug, using, alcoholic now"! This goes down like a ton of bricks.
"Woman I will forgive you for what you have just said, but others would kill you for that, Maradonna is a God here"!
"What ever"! I snap.
"Oh and don't tell anyone here your English, we hate the English. Tell them your Austrailia or Canadian other something"!
"I will not! What, is this because we beat you in the Falklands. Don't be a sore loser"!

As you can tell, we spend most of our time widing each other up and arguing. I think if you were a fly on the wall you would find us very entertaining. All that said, I have actually grown very fond of him. Underneath all the bravado, was actually some one very sweet. He took me out every day, opened doors for me and even though I found it hard at first, he paid for things. It was quite old fashion behaviour, something I'm not use to as a modern independent woman, but is it wrong to say that I actually quite liked it. I guess deep down inside, I do for all my feistiness, like some one taking care of me.

Ale (That's what I started calling him) invited me to his house leaving party on the Saturday. I got an email to say to bring as many women as possible, but no men. When I turned up with just me, he was like,
"Why didn't you bring any women"!
"Its not rent a brothel" I told him "So piss off"! And stormed up stairs. I then realised why he wanted me to bring more girls, as I stormed into his flat to find I was the only girl, in a room of about 20 Argentinean guys. Not like I was complaining, most of them were hot. Heaven! There I was sat amongst all these guys, and the total centre of attention. It didn't last long, as Alejandro's girls did eventually turn up, though I did at one point, accuse him of not knowing any! Not like it mattered. I had an amazing night. I think I made friends, danced and had fun with everyone there. The guys were total filrts, like I expected them to be, but there is one instance from the night that stands out. I was talking to one of Ale's friends most of the night called Thomas who was very handsome with big blue eyes, who seemed quite charming. As it came time for him to leave he waltzed up to me and casually said " I'm going home now. Are you coming with me or not"? I stood there, thinking you cheeky bastard and said " "Ermmm? NO"!
He stormed off. Five minutes later he came up to me again, tapping numbers into a phone, and said, "Well just so you know, I'm ringing another girl now, because its Saturday night and I need sex, and she will give it to me"!
I'm sat there, thinking what the hell! Then I let rip! I inform him that he's crazy, that does he think by saying this I will go "Oh, sorry! I am now really jealous. Please can I come home with you"; that his behaviour is rude and not acceptable to me; that women are not something you just have sex with and for him to get some respect. After my rant he left. I later find out, he's married with a kid. It doesn't surprise me, nothing does anymore. This is why I would never have a Latin boyfriend, you could never trust them. There is a lot to be said for English guys actually. Apart from that it was an amazing night and I crawled back to the hostel at 2.00pm the next day. Hard core or what!

I really like football, even though I don't get to watch it enough (I'm a Man United supporter, if anyone is interested). Being in South America I really wanted to go and watch a match, because for once I did agree with Alejandro, they are the best at football. Ale had agreed to take me to a River Plate game on the Sunday, but that was before he was grumpy, tired and hungover from his house party.
"Woman, why are you making me take you to a football match, why can't you go on your own"?
" Because you said you would take me, and no I will not go on my own, I'm a lady, so shut up"!
We carried on arguing all the way to the match. The game itself was amazing. We were squashed into the standing area, like sardines, but I didn't care. The atmosphere was electric. The drums, the chanting, the dancing, I loved it. River lost 2-0 to all boys. It was a big upset, but on the bright side I learnt lots of swear words in Spanish that evening.

I could of quite happily of stayed in Bueno Aires for ever. I fell in love with the place and the people, even the men, but I had to go. The destination of Rio was out there still waiting, patiently like it had for nearly five months. I couldn't keep it waiting any longer.

THE SIMPLE LIFE

It's funny how traveling makes you appreciate the simple things in life, like a hot shower, clean clothes and a comfortable bed. All things that we take for granted in our everyday lives, but these things are not always that easy to get when your on the road. It really doesn't take much to make me happy these days. If I get to a hostel and they have hot water, that's enough for me. For a girl that lives, works and buys into a materialistic environment, back home in London, it's quite a contrast to have been traveling for over 4 months with my only processions being what I can carry on my back; the essential things; the simple things.

My appearance as completely deteriorated on this trip, my skin is bad, my clothes have holes in them and my hair is wild and unkept. I keep thinking if people could see me back home, they would go "Carly what the hell has happened to you?"
Due to this fact, I have for a while now stopped looking in mirrors, as I can't bare looking at my appearance without feeling completley ugly, but recently I've been feeling very happy with things and within myself and the other day, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Instead of turning away like I normally do, I took along hard look at myself. There I was, just me staring back at me; no make up; no trendy clothes; hair scraped back; nothing to hide behind; just Carly Griffith. I may not be the most beautiful, intelligent or kindest person ever, but I thought to myself; you know what? Your alright, and you have met so many people recently that think your alright too, and who like you for who you are, without all the fanciness. They like the real Carly Griffith and for the first time in a long time, I thought to myself, I quite like her too; she's bloody good fun!

Anyway, all the corny, how I'm feeling stuff, over with, let's get back to the story at hand: Travels! I had once again found myself back in chile, in a place called Valparaiso. Many travellers had told me, how great it was and with the dissapointment of Mendoza, I decided to cut my losses and head of there.

After another memorable bus journey, in which I was the only gringo and English speaker (crossings the border was nightmare of lost in translation) I finally arrived in Valparaiso and checked myself into a hostel. As I was shown into my dorm, the owner informed me it was just me and a German guy in there, but there was no sign of him. After going out for a bite to eat, and getting back to a still empty dorm I decided to retire to bed early. I was woken from my deep sleep, in the early hours of the morning by the most almighty racket, of someone banging around. It was so bad I decided to turn on the light, only to find my fellow room mate standing there completely naked. He was clearly wasted as well. Well I didn't quite no what to say, until "Had a good night?" popped out of my mouth. Funnily, he was the one that looked at me like I was strange, then carried on stumbling about and banging around, until he fell onto his bed and passed out on top spread eagled and fully naked. I kind of just sat there for a bit in shock and then realised there was nothing else left to do but to turn the light off and go back to sleep, well not before I had a good old look at his you know what (you know you would of as well, so don't be all high and mighty now)! I woke up, to still find him naked on the bed, so decided to be very English about things and carry on as if it wasn't happening, by pottering around. Eventually he woke up and after a moment of clearly not knowing what was going on, he sprang under his sheets and everything came flooding back to him. He apologised to be about his behaviour and said how embarrassed he was, without looking me in the eyes. I told him he had nothing to be embarrassed about after what I saw last night. This only made him go redder and he ran off to the bathroom. He checked out an hour later. God, all because I saw his penis. I don't know what his problem is? I'm sure I'm not the first girl who's seen it and I'm sure I won't be the last!

After all that excitement I decided to spend the day getting lost among the narrow streets and old buildings covered in paintings in Valparaiso. Magical, and felt very happy in my own company for the day, taking it all in. I returned back to my room to find two new additions; a girl from Taiwan who's name I could not pronounce, so I ended up just calling her Tai. Her English was so bad, I could hardly understand her and her Spanish? Well let's just say it was good to finally meet someone who was so bad, they made me look fluent. She was sweet though and was a buddist so just meditated most of the time. The other person was a big German girl, who scared the hell out of me, as she looked like she could beat the shit out of me. I didn't ask her name, as I was too scared!

I went to check my emails and saw I had an interesting message in my inbox. It was from an English guy called Andy, saying that he had checked in on Facebook in Valparaiso and had seen that I had too, and that we were from the same part of England and if I wanted to meet up for a drink with him that night. He added at the end of the message, that he understood if I didn't want to as I might think getting this message from a complete stranger, a bit strange. Dam right! Could be a serial killer or something. Weirdo! I went back to the dorm. After 5 minutes of realising that my night now consisted of still being scared of German girl and having to listen to meditating and bad English with Tai, I decided to opt for the serial killer instead. I sent him message and told him to meet at eight in the square. Besides, everyone I meet traveling and end up hanging out with, I've only known 5 minutes and don't know from Adam, anyway! I was also on a good run with my impulsive's, after the Aussies and Martin. If push came to shove, I could kick him in the nuts (I've got a good kick) and run fast, as I was no longer at high altitude. Before I left I thought, for extra safety I'd tell some one where I was going so interrupted Tai from her meditating and said in really loud, slow English " So his name is Andy and if I don't come back alive, tell the police you can find him on my Face Book inbox, OK"? She just nodded a lot. I left thinking she hadn't bloody understood one word I'd said!

I went to the square to find, not a serial killer, or a weirdo, but an ordinary northern guy. Relief! We headed straight for a bar and ended up in some tacky hell of an African theme bar (the Chileans love their theme bars)! Andy is a computer programmer who now lives in Toronto, but has no trace of an accent. He was nice company too and we talked, and drank the whole night. He was the perfect gentleman, who never tried anything on with me. He just wanted good company and so did I. Two northerners together makes for a big session of drinking and by the time we left the bar, we were very drunk. As we got some late night empadanas we got talking to some Chilean screaming queens who wanted us to go to a gay nightclub with them. Andy looked horrified while my impulse told me this could be fun, but then my impulse became blurred and then it told me I had to much to drink, and it was probably best to be sensible for once and let Andy walk me to my door.

The next morning I woke to find Tai looming over me and saying
"I'm glad you are back and alive Carly". She then went back to meditating. "Only just alive", I said feeling my banging head. Well a least on the bright side she understood what I said last night, I thought as I rolled over back to sleep.

The next day I took a bus to the capital, Santiago. My main aim in this place was not to go sight seeing, but to buy a new pair of jeans. The ones I was wearing, where full of holes and falling to pieces. Also there was a big hole in the crotch and if you sat at the wrong angle it could be classed as indecent exposure. They had to go. Now I love shopping usually; it's my job for God sake. The problem is I'm a 5'10, skinny girl with not much ass, which doesn't really fit the shape of the average south American woman. I knew it was going to be a nightmare, and it was! After going to the biggest department store I could find in Santiago, I tried on a ton of jeans, which came half way up my legs and sagged inwards where my J-Lo ass was meant to be. This seem to amuse the locals a lot, when I came out of the changing room everytime wearing them asking to try another pair. Yeah! Let's all laugh at the skinny, tall, Gringa with no ass! Funny ha ha! Not! I was starting to become a bit distressed with the situation and was about to give up, when lovely Carmen who worked in the store, decided to take pity on the weird body shaped Gringa, and made it her mission to get me a pair of jeans. After a lot of effort, she found me a pair and I have to say, they probably fit me better than most of my jeans in England. Thanks Carmen; you have saved the rest of South America from indecent exposure!

Now when you have a 24 hour bus ride a head of you, the sensible thing would be to get an early night, which I did have the good intension of doing. All I did was go for one beer at the hostel bar! At 4am and God knows how many beers later, I crawled into bed after meeting a ton of travelers at the bar, playing drinking games, truth or dare and dancing around to stupid music. So not exactly the sensible night I was thinking of. Bloody funny though! I had to keep telling myself, the "Funny!" thing when I was sat on the bus dying of a hangover, then when it broke down and we had to sit at the side of the road in the middle of the Andes for an hour; then when they squashed us all onto another really shit bus; then when the old Chilean lady kept talking to me in Spanish LOTS, even though I told her I couldn't understand her; then when the only food I got to eat on the ENTIRE journey was sandwiches!!!!; then when I didn't sleep for the whole night as the big Argentinean guy sat next me, snored all night and encroached on my space. By the time I got my first glimpse through hazy eyes, of Buenos Aires I was totally exhausted, but then when I found myself alone at the bus station, in this bussling city of 17 million, of what I'd heard so much about, that I had dreamt of for so long, I found a new lease of life. I was excited. I was about to start my Buenos Aires adventure, but that's a story still waiting to be told, so you will have to wait to hear that one another day.