A couple of weeks ago I went to see my Russian waxer; Olga. I have been going to Olga for years now. Apart from giving me a mean Brazilian, I also have very deep conversations with her, and I end up telling her a lot of personal things. This might seem strange that you can have such an in depth conversation with someone whilst they are messing with your bits, but I look at it like this: If you can let someone wax your private parts; then you can tell them your private thoughts! Anyway, I was telling her, as she was at the most painful bit of the procedure, how much I didn't want to leave London; Hackney Wick and how everything in my life all seemed to be going wrong! Olga carried on calmly waxing while she dished out her words of advice in her her thick Russian accent.
"Look Carly. Let me tell you something. You know that your decision to leave London is right one. Your subconscious mind has told you that, or you wouldn't be leaving. You not stupid girl. I know that! Believe me I read lot of books on this type of thing. Look at it as a fresh start! Like breathing new air!"
As I was getting to up to leave, I told her:
" Well don't worry Olga I'll be coming back to see you."
"Really? You don't find new waxer when you leave London?"
"No", I replied "Where the hell else could I get the best Brazilian and therapy at the same time?'
She gave her cool smile and said "This true!"
So my subconscious mind had told me it was right to leave London; to make a fresh start for myself and leave the past behind me. The only problem is I haven't decided to make this fresh start in somewhere exotic, interesting, hot, or beautiful. No I have moved to Cardiff!!!!!!!!!! I was offered a job there for 9 months; a good job in fact, but it's in Cardiff. I'm not going to tell you what job it is. I have had to sign so many forms on not disclosing anything, I feel its best not to mention it's name, I'll probably get sued or sacked or something.
Me and my friend Kat who is a total London girl like me, and who has also had taken on the challenge to do this job and move to Cardiff with me, did a little bit of research on the top attractions in Cardiff. This is what we came up with:
* Lots of things with Millennium in the title IE the stadium and the centre. The welsh seem to be a bit obsessed with this word. Though I would like to point out to them, that this word is now a little bit dated. 12 years out of date in fact!
* Ruined castles. I think the word ruins might give away how interesting they are going to be, IE: Rubbish!
* A boat ride in Cardiff bay. Please note it is cold and wet 99% of the time in Wales, and the only things to see are the modern apartments and the chain restaurants that line the bay. I think I'll give it a miss.
* Strangely Boots the chemist showed up in the top attractions list. Not sure why the Cardiff branch of Boots is so special, but I might go and check it out as its seems more appealing than the above. God! its not good is it, if Boots the chemist is you top attraction.
It was not the best of starts either, as I first arrived in Cardiff for a production meeting. We had got the train from Paddington and as we rocked into the station, my face dropped. My first view of Cardiff, well was lets say; depressing! It was ugly, looked run down and everything was grey (in fact its was only last week that I finally saw the sun in Wales which was a blessing as I was starting to think it didn't exist)! Howard my designer looked on from the platform, as it took me so long to emerge from the train, he didn't think I was going to get off the train (I wished I hadn't)! When I did, he said he'd never seen anyone look so mortified with a place. The day didn't get any better, and when I arrived back in London that night, my friends asked how my first day was in Cardiff?
"Its horrible! It has no character, everything is grey, the people look miserable, there are no hot men, and everyone speaks a funny language!" was my response.
Also like the Scottish, and the French and probably most other countries in the world; the Welsh hate the English (I really don't why everyone hates the English so much; it's not like we have conquered half the world, enslaved people; subjected a harsh rule, imposed our language and ways on everyone; are snobbish and drink to excess and then act like animals! Oh shit! Correction! Tick to all of the above). I do like to point out that with a surname like Griffith I have Welsh ancestry, but that apparently doesn't seem to matter as I don't sound Welsh, so I am still fully classified as English. Anyway I like being English, but maybe not as much as the Welsh like being Welsh. You turn on the TV to find the history of Wales in the funny language; Books on Wales everywhere; and ever sign has Welsh written above English.
Waitrose. I have never looked forward to food so much in my life. Maybe things will change. I could grow to love Cardiff? Well I have 8 more months to find out. Hopefully it will learn to love it here or I'm going to be the size of a house if I keep on eating like this. Only time will show if this is going to be my fresh start.
