"Are you American?"
"What! No!"
I was finding myself in my first, of what would be many crazy conversations with Ronál, a crazy guy who I met in Peru, who ran the guesthouse I stayed in. He would later ask me if I'd like to be his girlfriend. I told him I didn't think it would work out (besides he came up to my chest)! he continued:
"But you speak English very well!"
"Well funnily enough I'm from this place called England, where we speak English!" I said
"Haaa! You are the real English then?"
"I wasn't aware there was a fake version knocking around" I replied. Ronál just laughed and carried on. "So you English and Americans, you very much the same?" This was a question I got asked quite a lot around Latin America and everytime I gave the same reply: "No, not at all. In fact we couldn't be more different!"
Now that I found myself in Miami, I was now reminded of this fact. You see I realise that every time I come to America, I don't quite get it. We may speak the same language, but Miami felt more alien to me than any other place I had been on my travels. You see for me the American Mentality is bigger is better, everything in your face and confidence dripping from ever pore. The English mentality is let's not make a big song and dance about things, let's just take the piss out of ourselves and we will just take the easy options because we don't want to cause any fuss! We are complete opposites. This is why I find America so fascinating; because I just don't get it!
I had to fly home via the States, so I decided to stop off in Miami for 4 days to see my friend Billy. Billy who's real name is actually Chris (long story!), had been my travel guide round Latin America, as he traveled my route the year before, and had given me handy tips and advice throughout my journey. I'd not seen him in nearly 2 years as he'd been traveling for a year and then landed himself a job with an Argentinean company but got posted to Miami.
I arrived in Miami, totally exhausted. After 2 weeks of continual partying in Buenos Aires and Rio, my skin was bad, I had bags under my eyes, My throat was sore and I was pale after two and half months with no real sun. Basically I felt like shit. In London I always remember Billy being just as up for a party as I was, so I prepared myself for another onslaught of drinking and late nights. Oh God, I thought to myself, I'm going to go back to London a total wreck, so you can imagine my surprise, but totally relief when Billy turned round to me and said, he was rather tired, not feeling 100% and would I mind if we took it easy. "I couldn't be happier", I replied and I really meant it. I guess I'm not as young as I use to be.
I hadn't really experienced any privacy or home comforts since staying at Martins in Colombia and that was over 2 months ago. Since then it had become the norm to share a room and bathroom with about a billion other people. After nearly 5 months on the road, Billy's place was a real treat. So I was sleeping on the sofa, but this was no ordinary sofa; it was bigger and more comfy than my bed back in London; I had my own private bathroom, a power shower; air-con; the biggest fridge freezer with an endless supply of cold water; cable TV, a gym and best of all a huge swimming pool. God! I felt like I was in the Hilton. Billy truly has found himself in the good life in Miami. We sat and drank Caipirinhas and talked a lot; about life on the road; how he missed it; how he felt he had to get out of London; I told him I felt the same; I expressed my fears of going home; he reassured me it was going to be OK. I realised that me and Billy were very much the same. We had reached a point in our lives where we were no longer happy with them; we needed to change them and so went looking for some inspiration. The only difference is Billy found the answer. I'm still looking for mine.
One day, Billy had to go to work, so he dropped me at south Beach (a must if your in Miami). My main aim over the 4 days I had there, was to regain my tan, though rather than sunbathing I just found myself people watching! Men in thong trunks, people pumping iron on the beach and boob jobs everywhere! I looked down at mine. I felt like an adolescent boy, like I had,most of this trip. I kept telling myself, well at least there real and don't look like to beach balls stuck to my chest! Feeling in need of some retail therapy, I decided to treat myself to a new bikini as mine were all looking very tatty now. It was then I found it. My Mecca; my heaven on earth. It's name was Victoria's Secret! Even though we don't have VS in England I'd heard of it, but never been to a store. Let's just say we need them in England, because it's changed my life. Yes! I finally found a bikini in their store, that gave me tits and quite big ones at that! This genius of a bikini top, takes what little you have and pushes it all up to make you look like bloody Pamela Anderson. You couldn't stop me smiling and the woman serving me must have thought I was one crazy English girl as all I kept saying to her was, "Look! I've got breasts, it amazing!" After that you couldn't stop me parading around in that bikini, thinking, God I wish I found you at the beginning of my trip. Actually maybe not, I got myself into enough trouble being flat chested! It would have been much worse with breasts!
My time in Miami was just what I needed. I rested, got my tan back, we ate at good restaurants (we went to an amazing Shepherd Ferry one!), I finally got to eat a decent salad again, my throat got better, and Billy took me on the most beautiful day trip to the Florida Keys. At night we drank beer, watched crap movies and laughed at Family Guy (my favourite). Billy was quite distracted most of the time in the evenings though. He had signed up to Match.com for Internet dating. We had both done Internet dating in London. It didn't really go to well for me as I met an alcoholic script writer; a man that had a business in making pre stained underwear; and another guy who told me on our first and only date, that he had wet dreams about me (seriously)! Billy on the other hand, being the playboy that he is, had a great time with it, luring girls in with lines such as "marriage material" and then putting into force the 3 strikes and your out policy (anymore than 3 dates and it's classed as serious)! Billy had decided to try his charms on the American ladies (God help them)! I then got the job of vetting the ones Billy liked, which seemed to come more down to looks than personality. I don't think he was interested in getting to know there personality? As a woman, the girls in America, Internet dating seem quite hard work and very girly. I informed Billy, anyone who quotes their favourite films as being The Notebook, Letters from Juliet; who hates camping and doesn't know what salsa music is, is going to be a hard work Princess, with not much in the way of brains. "Yeah, but she's hot though, isn't she?" was his response. Men!
The whole time I was in Miami, the thought of my travels coming to the end, was always in the back of my mind, and then the moment I didn't want to happen, finally came. I found myself sat at the gate waiting for a flight I didn't want to get. I was scared to go back. I guess I'd thought at times, I wasn't going to go back, that I expected someone or something to pick me up and take me away from it all and I'd never have to go back to my old life. I sat looking at the departure screen. I could see flights for Buenos Aires and Rio. I swear if I'd had the money at that moment in time, I would gone on got myself a ticket to one of them, but I didn't. I could feel the tears start to well up and then they rolled down my face.
"Are you alright?" said the concerned man next to me. I couldn't take it anymore and bolted for the toilets. I locked myself in the toilet and sat there crying. My 5 month adventure was over. I have family and friends that I love and miss, but I sat there and told myself there was no real reason to go home. There was nobody or anything that wanted me back there. But I was going home and if I'm trueful, I knew I needed to. It was at that moment sat crying in a toilet cubicle in Miami airport, I finally admitted to myself that I had ran away from things; that the same problems and the way I felt about myself in England had followed me over to the other side of the world; they just don't go away if your in a new environment because you take them with you. It was time to do something about them. I got up and went to the gate. It was time to go home.
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