NICHOLAS

So it's Saturday; I'm back in London and I'm walking down Upper street, after going to see Olga (Olga is my waxer and boy have I missed her during my 5 months in South America). I have a whole productive day planned for myself, but even though I don't know it yet, this is all going to go to ruin, because the next minute I bump into Nicholas in the street. Nicholas is a friend of my housemate Alex who I have got to know over the years. He's one of those people you really shouldn't like: he's annoying, arrogant and talks a lot of shit, but for some strange reason you do end up liking him. He's also a terrible womaniser. I think he has lost count of how many women he has bedded. I would like to state now that I am not one of them, though he tries his hardest to get me into bed every time I see him. The first time I met him at a party, he came onto me even though I had a boyfriend at the time by telling me I looked like a beautiful Russian princess because I was drunk wearing a fur hat. I told him to piss off! Our relationship has been pretty much the same since.
So here he is in front of me. I haven't seen him in over six months. He's feeling good because he's lost over 2 stone in weight and he's completely smashed from partying the night before, stinks of alcohol and hasn't been to bed. The next thing I know, I'm sat in bar with him at eleven o'clock in the morning, with him saying let's get a drink.
"Just one Nic" I say determinedly "I have stuff I have to do today. I've got to go to my Osteopath soon."
Two hours later and completely drunk, stood outside a bar in Islington, I'm on the phone to my Osteopath.
"Hello. It's carly. I've got an appointment with you in 15 minutes. I'm afraid I can't make it. Someone has crashed into my car!"
"Oh no! Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, but I have to wait for the AA to pick up my car. I know I'm cancelling last minute, so I'll just pay for the session."
"No! We can't charge you. It's not your fault you have had an accident. No charge at all and I hope you and your car are ok, Miss Griffith."
"Thanks so much and goodbye."
Oh my God! I really am going to go to hell this time, though I've actually realised I'm a better liar than I thought I was.
Since I got back from traveling, I've felt while I was away that everyone has settled down and are getting serious with their lives. As I'm not in this place at all in life, I've found it all a little scary. Who am I going to go out and party with anymore? Well a least there are always people like Nicholas, who will never settle down. Wrong! No something terrible has happened. Nicholas has fallen in love!
"But you can't be in love! Your Nicholas!" I protest.
"I am" he replies "I've met the woman for me. I can't get her out of my head. This is why I've lost so much weight. I can't eat, I can't sleep. She drives me crazy."
I sit listening in disbelief. I tell him I'm happy for him, which I am, but it's another person succumbing to growing up and it's Nicholas of all people! It scares me. As I sit there, I think maybe it's time, that I start to go up. Maybe I should try and become an adult.
A couple of hours and drinks later, with most of the conversation having been about "How in love" Nic is, I realise I'm completely drunk and can hardly see straight. Nic bundles me off into a taxi as he has to go to the ballet with his girl that night, even though he's wasted (actually there is nothing grown up about his behaviour at all). I finish my day with my head over the toilet bowl being sick for the first time in ages, my productive Saturday in tatters(Bloody Nicholas)! It was at that moment that the thought of becoming a little bit more grown up, didn't seem like a bad idea at all.

A DAY ON THE RIVER

OK, so for those of you who follow my blog, you will remember that the last time I was on a boat, was the nightmare journey from Panama to Colombia, on which I spent most of my time, throwing up, exhausted and at breaking point! So you can imagine that when I found out we were going on a boat for my friend Ali's surprise 30th, my body was filled with a sense of dread. Luckily when I turned up at Caversham bridge in Reading, I realised this was not going to be a sailing boat on the Caribbean ocean, but a canal barge on the Thames. In fact this experience on a boat couldn't have been more different. It was pure bliss. The sun shone all day; we drank bottles of Champagne and cava; ate great food and I got to perv at all the hot rowers doing their stuff on the river (one of my friends told me I was a menace to men. I told her I was alright with that).

The best thing about the day though was catching up with loads of friends I haven't seen in ages and who I missed lots while I was away. I bored them with the real Stories of my travels. They filled me in on there lives while I was away. I felt everyone has grown up so much while I've been away. God! Maybe we are now really turning into adults.

Ali, as she always does, took it upon herself to try and set me up with someone, as I think she worries as I'm the only single one left of her friends.
"What do you think of kevin's friend over there?"
"He's really not my type Ali. Besides he all dressed in beige!" I said
"But he's got a Ferrari."
"I think it will take a lot more than a Ferrari, Ali for me to fancy him!" was my reply. I later found out he drives home every week for his mum to do his washing. Definitely not my type. I'd eat him for breakfast. So can I just say, to my friends now: Please can you all just try and stop setting me up with people. I hate it and I'm perfectly fine on my own!

There was one important person I got to see for the first time: Stan! Stan is the 6 month old baby of my friend Claire, who was born just before I went away. He's a big deal as Claire is the first of us to have a baby. Now Stan hadn't met his Aunty Carly yet, but Aunty Carly isn't very good with babies. It's not that I hate babies, it's just that I'm not very good with them; I'm too selfish. I'm not saying I don't want kids, but there not something that is natural to me, but I have to say that I fell in love with Stan. If I could pre order a baby (Claire told me it doesn't work like that!) I would get myself a Stan. He never cries, he is so chilled and he looks cool. He even wasn't bother been held and fed by drunk Aunty Carly! All That said, I still wouldn't change his nappy. Claire said she is determined to make me do it one day. I told her she has a battle on her hand, if she thinks I'm ever going to change a babies nappy! It was a perfect day.

BACK TO REALITY

The other day, with a few moments to myself, I lay on the grass and shut my eyes. As the sun shone on my face I tried to pretend to myself I was back in south America and for a few seconds I really believed I was, until my little day dream was shattered by the yell of,
"Crew rehearsal!!!" My eyes shot open and I realised I was not in Argentina, or Brazil or even Colombia. No! I was in BIRMINGHAM!

Yes people, less than two weeks after getting back from the wonders of South America, I seem to have found myself filming on a TV drama, called Land Girls for the BBC, in BIRMINGHAM! When the job was proposed to me, it ticked all the boxes; 5 day working week (nice); 1940s period drama (nice); working with the Wonderful Giles and one of my best friends, the beautiful Becky Brown (even nicer)! Oh, but it's daytime drama (I've moved onto better things these days darlings) and its filming in BIRMINGHAM! I hate BIRMINGHAM! Also after living out of a bag for 5 months I was desperate to be back in London and get settled in the warehouse again, but beggars can't be chooses and after getting back from my travels I was totally broke. I needed money pronto and this job was starting straight away and gives me 2 months solid work and the chance to get back on my feet. Besides its 5 day weeks; I can go back to London every weekend or go and see my family, I thought to myself. I also tried to think about other good things in Birmingham? Well 2 of my best friends have moved there; Claire who now has a baby and Debs who moved to be with her boyfriend (God, she must love him a lot)! After that all I could come up with for Birmingham was Cadburys chocolate, but I do like chocolate a lot, so I suppose that is quite good?

I really can't complain about this job though at all. The crew are lovely; the cast are the nicest ever and there is some eye candy for me to look at (my being a "nun phase" is going to last 2 minutes)! Besides work has taken my mind off the fact that I'm back in England and hasn't really given me chance to get sad, as I'm so busy.

I'm renting a room off a family that I found through the BBC housing list. It's a middle aged Mum and Dad and their grown adult son, who I think is older than me. When I arrived his face lit up like he'd never seen a girl before (I've got the feeling he's not that experienced with women)? In fact he's still got his childhood door plaques with his name on, nailed on his bedroom door. I also hear him when I get in late at night from working split days, playing on his Playstation. Maybe he's waiting up for me? I keep thinking I'll wake up in the middle of the night with him sat there watching me sleep, and then say,
"Hello Carly! Will you kiss me, as I've never kissed a woman before"!
Arrrghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I've started to lock my door at night!

Filming has been quite fun; I'm filming in a stately home which has a bar call Dickabels (what the hell); which has Sequin cushions and a disco ball (I think the Lord and Lady must have swingers parties there)! There is also a huge cardboard cut out of Robert Patterson, and even though I hate Twlight, I did find myself having my picture taken kissing it! Oh my God! Is this what my love life is now reduced to; kissing cardboard cut outs of Robert Patterson! I need to go back to South America! Now!

A first happened the other day. Filming was stopped due a pensioners day out walking onto set with their guided tour, by accident. It didn't seem to bother them though, as they carried on with the tour as if we weren't there (they were old though; maybe they couldn't see a WHOLE cast and crew trying to film in front of them)! Well on the bright side we did all learn about the whole history of the house (actually maybe it was only me that thought it was good due to the fact I'm a history geek)!

I guess reality isn't too bad, at the moment. I'm just throwing myself into work for the time being and concentrating on not going back to the way I felt before I left, because right now I'm feeling the best I have done in ages. I want it to last.

SUNSET

You know what? I've been away for 5 months travelling the exotic lands of south America, but nothing there came close to a Hackney Wick, London sunset. One word beautiful! Who said England is not beautiful?

WELCOME HOME

I never really know what I'm going to come home to on a daily basis in my place in London: a photo shoot in the flat; a cat falling from the ceiling or a gathering that seems to have turned into a party again. So after 5 months away I really, really didn't know what the hell, I was going to find when I walked through the door. To my surprise I found a calm empty house. I had the place to myself. It was quite nice to be eased back into my surroundings. It was still the same, but different. The warehouse which was already cluttered with stuff seemed to have accumulated much more. I find out we have been donated Alex's, dead uncle Roy's stuff, which includes framed pictures of Dead uncle Roy's dead cats, which now sit over Moomin Troll's bed like a shrine; all of dead uncle Roy's ceramic collection, which includes Diana & Charles memorabilia; and pictures of dead uncle Roy himself.

Please add to this a ton of crystal wear which Oli got from working in the art department on the film, The Iron Lady. I tell Oli that maybe we could sell them on eBay and say "As used by Meryl Streep!" I asked if Meryl drank from any of the glasses because then we could add they have Meryl Streep germs too. I don't think Oli likes my eBay idea?

I also see some very unwanted additions! More God dam dolls! Oli keeps finding the most horrible, ugly dolls and puppets around Hackney wick and brings them back to the flat! I'm scared of them and hate them too. In the past the boys of my house, have found it really funny to put them in my bed and sit there waiting to hear my screams when I find them. I got my revenge though, at our Jane Fonda Party when I got some girls who I didn't know to throw them on the bonfire we had going outside, so I wouldn't get in trouble. Unfortunately one of them survived and Oli found out I was the culprit anyway! I'm now thinking of ways to get rid of this new batch!

Three people that were home, were our cats, Hank, Cassius and Moomin Troll. I had missed them so much while I was away and was so excited to see them, but as I greeted and hugged them, they looked at me like a complete stranger. No, I thought! They don't remember me. Well I have been away for 5 months. It will take time.

Oli arrived back and then later the whirlwind that is Alex, and they hadn't changed in the slightest. I realised then how much I loved them and how much I'd missed them. I guess there more than friends to me these days; there like my family also. I sat there chatting and probably boring them with the tales of my travels, for ages but I also felt anxious as I was awaiting the arrival home of 3 people in our house that were strangers to me. I had rented my room out to an Aussie girl called Tylie, Angus who is still traveling had rented his out to a Brazilian guy called Guilherme and my other housemate Rohan had moved in with his girlfriend while I was away, so in his place we had an English guy called Nick. Then suddenly everyone seem to come home at once, add to this our friends Melaine and Jenny bursting in very drunk also, it was all a bit overwhelming and all of a sudden I felt like a stranger in my own home.

Luckily I got to speak to my new housemates in a calmer setting the next day and it didn't take long for me to realise that they were all lovely. My unease was soon put to rest.

Alex being the Miss organised that she is, had decided to have a welcome home BBQ for me, though to be fair it was probably just a good excuse to throw another party in Oslo house. Everyone brought food and booze and I'm proud to say I cooked the best Asparagus and polenta quiche ever. Even Oli said it was amazing, and he's like master chef! This means a lot for girl who's known culinary skills consist of cereal with milk and peanut better on toast.

It was a great BBQ. The sun shone, loads of people turned up. I got to see and catch up with loads of friends and I found my feet once again in London. Alex had purposely invited lots of single guys, and kept coming up to me and saying "Well, do you fancy anyone?"
"No, I'm not really interested", I replied. It's the truth I really wasn't. I was just happy to see my friends, that's what mattered. I've decided that I'm really happy on my own right now. It's a nice feeling. If someone wants me, they can come and get me, as I'm not looking anymore. I'd grown so tired of the London dating scene before I left; all the games; the being messed around. The thought of going back to it fills me with a sense of dread. It still won't stop Alex trying to marry me off though, I expect.

Unfortunately my friend Melaine's new housemate, Greg decided he did want me and started following me around like a puppy dog, and then as he got more drunk started to tell everyone that he was going to "Smash me!" The only thing he smashed that night was himself as he passed out on the living room floor. God! Why do I always get them.

It feels nice to be back, but I've been traveling before and I know that this feeling doesn't last. After the excitement of being back, comes the fall of being back to reality. It's depressing. I know it will hit me, I just don't when and it doesn't matter how prepared you are for it, it always hits hard. Until then I will keep as busy as possible and pretend it won't happen. I start work again tomorrow, for the first time in over 5 months. Now that will be back to reality.

OBSERVATIONS:

* Hank our cat has got fatter

* My cat allergy is back

* People need to smile more in London

CONCLUSION: MY WAY

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