I've been feeling rather unsettled in Wales. To counteract this I have been using all my spare time up with travelling up and down the country with weddings; hen do's; parties; a trip to the family; and visiting friends in London. This has left me living out of a bag again and sleeping on people's sofa's. I felt like a traveling gypsy; a nomad; with no real home.
The other week everything caught up with me. I hit a wall. I was mentally and psychically worn out. It had to stop. I guess I'd got myself in such a stress about leaving the Wick and London. I had it in my head, that if I didn't keep going back everyone would forget about me and I'd turn into some distant memory. I realised I've never given Wales or myself a chance. I decided it was about time I spent some time in the mansion and in Wales. As for my friends, if they are my true friends, it doesn't matter where I am, they will always be there.
So this weekend I hid myself away from the world in the mansion. People asked if I was going to be alright on my own in that big house. The truth was I was kind of looking forward to some time on my own. It also happened that during this time the sun came out and it finally felt like summer. My itchy feet that have been plauging my thoughts the last couple of weeks disappeared. All of a sudden Wales didn't seem bad at all, in fact it was bloody beautiful. I then realised I had totally unappreciated my surroundings. I was in this amazing old house in the middle of the countryside, with great views, a tree house, log fire, living in with a lord and I had cows in the front field! Really what more could a person ask for?
This weekend I read, wrote, sun bathe and went jogging (I know I went jogging! I actually quite liked it)! I spoke to no one or saw no one apart from the cows, who I would sit with watching the sunset with a glass of wine, talking to them (there amazing listeners)! I have started to give the cows names, such as Hamburger, Daisy and el Toro as I like naming things.
So I sat there on a Friday evening slipping a glass of wine, watching the sun go down surrounded by cows, as I chatted away to them, and for the first time I felt content and very happy to be in Wales. Let's hope it's the start of a beautiful thing?
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