The Life and Times of Lady Warrington: VIVA LAS VEGAS

So it was Paula, my sister's 30th. She was never going to deal with it well. She has been telling everyone for the last couple of years she is four years younger than she actually is. So instead of sticking around and trying to face up to the reality of telling everyone she is actually not 26, she decided to skip the country with a close group of friends and me, who would still love her even though she is now30!!!! The destination was Las Vegas. Now I have heard mixed reviews on Vegas. It seems its a bit like Marmite: You either love it or hate it. I was expecting my opinion to be the latter. Trashy, uncultured, with some of the worst kind of people you will probably meet on the planet. In fact everything I usually hate. The only thing was, I loved it! The fact that I couldn't get my head round the place, made it totally fascinating to me. Throw in the fact that I'm a party girl with an addictive personality, the 24/7 drinking and gambling suited me very well. I've never really done much gambling before apart from the annual flutter on the Grand National ( A thing I get from my dad!) Me and Paul my mate Liz's husband became a bit of a dab hand at the Roulette and slot machines. Paul won $450 and I won $350 on the slots, to which I was running around the Bellagio Casino like a nutter, with a whole wad of cash screaming "I love Vegas!" It also paid for me to go and see the Grand canyon by helicopter, something I have always wanted to do and it did not disappoint. Breathtaking would be the word I would use.

Here is Lady Warrington's and the Tyler (Me and Paul) guide to gambling:

1.As long as you are gambling all the casino's will supply you a vast quantity of free drinks, usually very strong. These are served by over made up woman with big hair, wearing a uniform which consists of a short jacket, high heels and nothing much else. This is to make you gamble longer, because you get drunk and then think you can win, and also bang the waitress. This tactic did not work on me and Paul as we are both Northern, so harden drinkers. Also he's married and I'm not a Lesbian. Casino's also have no natural day light or clocks so you loose all sense of time. Which probably explains why I was down there most mornings at 9.00am sipping on a G&T!

2.When you go round the slot machines, don't go on one that has just done a big pay out. There not going to cough up for a while.

3.Try stalking! Follow round the pro's on the slots who put in tons of money. These people are easy to spot as they are usually chain smoking, fat, look like alcoholics and wear sun visors indoors? When they tire of a machine and have not got a big payout, this is the best time to hit the slot.

4. Know when to leave. When your on a winning streak its best to leave as it never lasts for ever. This is something I should of done when up on the old roulette, instead of flirting with the guy stood next to me.

5. Never look like you don't know what you are doing. Unfortunately I forgot this the first time on roulette by going "So how the hell do you play this?" and moving chips before being allowed to and them having to get the manager over to tell me off! I'm so cool. NOT!